A Sarcastic Letter to Young “Adults”

Dear young “adults”,

Feel like a whole lot is happening all at once? Is life starting to become bi-polar? Are you starting to get dizzy from all of the changes?

Good because that’s when you start really experiencing life.

Things happen: old friends disappear and new friends appear, jobs come and go, interests peak and die out.

Cue CIRCLE OF LIFE.

As cheesy as it sounds, it’s so totally and completely true. I mean, A LOT happens in your twenties. Big things. Many people in their 30s say that’s the important decade, or people in their 40s believe that’s when true realization hits.

But… you have to get through your twenties to make it to those other “so totally cool” decades in life.

What could possibly happen after undergrad, you ask?

1. Friends will leave you [literally & figuratively]

The majority of your friends will move away and slowly (or drastically if you’re super unlucky) stop texting. Or your friends will be geographically nearby but will emotionally check out. Why? They find a significant other, they get married, they have kids, or they just drift out of the picture on their own.

What to do: Remember, you found those friends at some point, so you can find new ones – stop being lazy.

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2. You will have a ton of internal conflicts

Some include but are not limited to: eating healthy and eating anything with cheese, bread or sugar; talk to this guy (or girl) who is no good for you or ignore them to prove a point; spend your money on self-pity gifts or save for future self-pity gifts; find whatever job you can to get money or search for your dream job; etc.

What to do: Accept that you won’t sleep for a few years.

3. You could potentially move back home

Yay, you’re officially a kid again, needing parental support. Hey, you can’t help it though! Society hasn’t really prepped you for the moments right after undergrad. Very few have their ducks in a row. Most twenty-somethings don’t even have all their ducks present, not to mention the weird grouping they’re in instead of a line. Sometimes you just have to go back to the drawing board – aka your childhood bedroom – and figure things out.

What to do: Remember how you sneaked out of your window when you were sixteen.

4. You could totally change career paths

Undergrad was so fun and you worked your butt off – maybe. But now you’re done with that and need to figure out what you can do with that super unique, narrow-fielded degree you chose. You definitely run into trouble when there are no jobs open in that field, which chances are there won’t be any jobs open.

What to do: Panic, and then realize you can go back to school or learn a new skill or apply and pray someone will take pity on your soul.

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5. You will be single at some point

Not to be totally pessimistic, but there is a high probability that you won’t be in a relationship for your entire twenties. So, buckle up and get over it. Being single doesn’t isn’t bad, so don’t sulk over it. And just know that you aren’t completely alone – there are tons of singles out there mulling around like The Walking Dead extras.

What to do: Do what you want when you want; be selfish…and a little bitchy, too
6. You will probably move a lot

First, you usually move away from college after graduation – there’s one. And sometimes you have to move back home. Then you move out closer to your job – that’s two. Some people even move in with their SOs – that’s three….and some break up and have to move out again – that’s four.

What to do: Save your boxes!

So, you see? It’s not all bad! I mean, it could be if you let it get you down, but just remember to turn that sarcasm dial up real high and smirk your way through your twenty-somethings.

Cheers!

xOx

Original post found on my website: http://www.shaylaokeeffe.com/blog

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Earth Day for the Lazy

We all want to say we care about the planet and want to do our part to save it. But, then, things come up and saving a planet just doesn’t fit in our schedules: too busy to plant a whole tree, don’t want to get dirt on our cute dresses, etc.

Now for those, who don’t believe anything is happening to our plant – please, see my other articles, and also, you stink.

Anyway! There are PLENTY of things us lazy, non-outdoor folk can do to honor Earth Day!

 

  1. Go buy a reusable water bottle! Yay, shopping time. Here I come, Amazon. Stop using plastic water bottles and tossing them. Last year, we threw out over 70% of our water bottles instead of recycling, so since it seems super difficult for us to recycle, let’s just have reusable bottles, ‘kay?

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  1. Plant a tree… from your laptop. Donate easily to plant a tree here and be one in a billion! Donate as little as $1 to The Nature Conservancy and select what region of the world you want your tree planted. SO EASY AND LAZY.

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  1. Start a garden! Put hose DIY skills to the test and make a itsy bitsy gardne on your balcony or patio or window ledge. Grow some tomatoes, herbs, whatevs. This way you can show off your mad green-thumb skills with a super cool Insta post.

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  1. Spring Cleaning and Replacement! It’s time to throw out the old beauty products, and buy some new eco-friendly ones. Try Tarte Lip Crayons, Alba Botanica products, Burt’s Bees stuff, and more. This is a selfishly fun way to save the planet; plus, who doesn’t love to buy new make-up?

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  1. Save the oceans, animals, and forests while you watch Netflix and stuff your face with ice cream. Here are a bunch of great organizations you can donate $1 or more. Celebrate Earth Day by donating your Starbucks’ drink for the day (money-wise, don’t ship your drink to one of these poor organizations).

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  1. Clean up your mailbox. That’s right, time to delete and stop that junk mail! Check this site to see how you can stop those credit card scams and catalog junk mail to help save thousands of paper and trees. By filling these forms out online, you can sit on your butt and save trees. Go you!

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  1. Re-evaluate your cooking style! Reducing red meat consumption can dramatically save hundreds of gallons of water PER serving. Or choose pasture-fed beef if you can. I promise turkey burgers are as delicious as hamburgers if you cook ’em right. You do have to go to the store to do this one, but you need food, right?

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Check out the original post here at my website: www. shaylaokeeffe.com/blog

 

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Expectation vs. RL: Turning 25

Expectation versus Real Life: 25th birthday edition. After your 21st birthday, we’re told everything is downhill after that: “The next big one is 30!” We’re told that 25 isn’t said to be hugely celebrated; if anything, it’s deemed our quarter-life-crisis. But fear not, you’re not alone in your realization that life isn’t what you expected. You have me, at least…

 

1. Career

Expectation: Account Manager at some fancy-pants, Fortune 500 dream company putting your hard-earned college degree to good use

Reality: Bottom-level employee at a relative’s business, doing work that requires a free high school degree and not that college degree that sent you thousands of dollars into debt

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2. Money

Expectation: Enough money for rent, food, and going out once a week and some left over for all the bridal shower and wedding gifts you need for friends

Reality: You’ve gone down to 1 and 1/2 meals a day and two showers a week

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3. Significant Others

Expectation: You’re in a long-term relationship with the person you see yourself with forever – omg yay, so cute

Reality: You’ve started considering a monk-like, life of solitude and writing about it for money – since you have zero of that to go with your zero mate-prospects

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4. A General Sense of Having Your Sh** Together

Expectation: Gracefully balancing work, life, and a healthy lifestyle #crushingit

Reality: Incapable of balancing your food on a paper plate

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5. Being Healthy

Expectation: You go to the gym 5 times a week and managed to find a healthy diet that works for you, helping you to be slimmer than high school so you can shame those haters from 10 years ago

Reality: You have to go up the stairs at work because the elevator is terrifying, but you reward yourself with a Venti Starbucks every day

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6. Friendships

Expectation: You have multiple close friends and a huge group to hang out with on weekends, always staying busy and taking adorable Insta photos together

Reality: Everyone lives in a different state in different time zones with different schedules and you’re alone every Friday night

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7. Your Future

Expectation: Crystal clear, ducks lined up in a row, and the world at your fingertips

Reality: It’s the Grim – thanks, Prof Trelawney!

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What have you learned since turning 25? Comment below to share with me!

Original blog post found at my new website: http://www.shaylaokeeffe.com

xOx

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[Travel] Denver + Colorado

19 years ago, little me was in Denver, CO with my family but little me also didn’t remember much from that family trip. So one day a few weeks ago, a conversation with my mom went a little something like this…

Mom: Do you remember anything from our Colorado trip?

Me: Nope

Mom: Want to go back, then?

Me: Um, absolutely.

Mom: Okay, let’s go at the end of March

And just like that, our airfare was bought and our hotel reserved. It was an amazing week, with 6-full days packed with adventures. My family’s motto when it comes to vacations is not to sleep in, take our time and chill, but instead we book up our days with things to see, do, and eat! We set the alarms and are out seeing local sites by 9am usually.

Day 1: We landed!

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Day 2: Garden of the Gods, Cheyenne Mountain Zoo near Colorado Springs

Gorgeous red rocks stacked high in these ‘gardens‘, relatively easy hikes, and the coolest spaced-out zoo up on a mountain

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Day 3: Rocky Mountain National Park & Estes Park

SNOW! Only 1/3 of the Park was open because snow is still covering the roadways in the higher areas, but nonetheless it was amazing. Estes Park is gorgeous, with nice shops and cafes to take a break at.

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Day 4: Pike’s Peak & Manitou Springs

We did the Cog Railway tour ($40/person) up the mountain and back. The whole trip took about 3 hrs with about 45min up at the Peak. Then a little shopping and eating in Manitou Springs to finish off our day!

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Day 5: Downtown Denver

Botanic Gardens + Glazed & Confuzed Doughnuts + 16th Street Mall shopping in downtown Denver.

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Day 6: Downtown Denver

Molly Brown House tour, state Capitol, Denver Art Museum (specifically, the Star Wars costume exhibit), and Jelly Cafe for lunch! Walking, viewing, listening, and eating, which also means a super successful and fun day!

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Day 7: Downtown Denver

Denver Museum of Nature and Science + Union Station

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Day 8: Home again 😦

A morning tour at Hammond’s Candy Factory, lunch at HopDoddy Burger Bar (the best Green Chile Queso Fries ever) and then off to the airport

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Where We Stayed: Residence Inn by Marriott Denver City Center (I’d give it 5 stars! Perfect location and a less than 5 minutes walk from the 16th Street Mall; great service, clean hotel rooms, and all-around two thumbs up!)

Mobility: Rented a car for 4 days, walked and used Uber for downtown sites

Have any questions about what we saw or did? Need food suggestions? Have any comments or things to add to my list that you found really great in Denver? Comment below or email me! I’d love to hear about anything regarding Denver or Colorado ❤

 

Original post on my website found here.

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Feminism Struggles

It’s #InternationalWomensDay and how else does one spend it other than to post a bunch of women’s rights quotes?

But how many of us actually understand what a feminist is? It’s not a Women-Above-All mentality, it’s not a Females-Are-Better idea, but it’s a Equal-Rights-For-All thing. It means fighting for both females AND males. It means creating a neutral space where men aren’t superior to women and women aren’t superior to men, a space where gender isn’t even part of the equation.

It’s a struggle, though, for many to understand what “Feminism” means. There are lots of stereotypes and pre-judgments made. the misconceptions really taint the image and idea of being a feminist. The biggest problem is being uneducated about it. Here are the common ones:

1. Only Nasty Women are feminists

First, I’m the nicest person around {and totally humble}, so obviously I can’t be nasty. But, on a serious note, it seems that society has painted a specific photo of what a feminist looks like: a hippie, young girl who doesn’t shave anywhere, sitting in an old beat-up Volkswagen van smoking a joint and picketing outside of big businesses.

WRONG: There are some women who look like that and are feminists, but hey, that’s their style so keep doing you, boo. But there are so many other “feminists” out there: men, women, business people, teachers, scientists, chefs, old, young, completely shaven, and no matter their religion, ethnicity, or lifestyle. There isn’t a set image. And of course, there are some Nasty Women 😉

2. It means you can’t shave

Now here’s the most annoying misconception: true feminists don’t shave their armpits or legs. here’s another classic stereotype: going woolly-mammoth is the only way to prove you’re fighting for women’s rights. I’m pretty sure Emma Watson shaves or the maybe it’s just a lot of Photoshop. Sure if you don’t want to shave, that’s fine, but it isn’t a must-have to fight for equal rights.

WRONG: You can shave. You can take care of your body however you want because that’s the whole damn point of feminism! Feminism is the right to have control over your own body no matter who you are (male, female, transgender, whatevs). Plus, men can shave so we’re back to our circular reasoning.

3. Females can do everything men can do already

Alrighty, well, yes females have come a long way since the start of the civil rights movement, but the fun can’t stop there! Yes, women can “technically” be “anything” they want, but the obstacles are way harder. How many women are politicians compared to men? How many women are in the Armed Forces compared to men?

WRONG: As I said before the idea of feminism is to fight for EVERYONE’S rights: female and male. So females can have the careers men can have, but there is still a stigma associated with some jobs that make it hard for females to do those jobs. And conversely, men have a hard time with some jobs that are considered “female-oriented”, like nursing, or secretarial positions, or artistic jobs. The truth is there isn’t pure gender equality and feminism means fighting for men’s rights, too. And no matter what some politicians say, there is no universal equal pay. Please, don’t shut me out right now. I have actually spoken to women who have been shortchanged in their position compared to their male counterpart.

4. You can’t be “feminine” and a “feminist”

Hmm, okay. So I can’t be a fashionista and fight for equal rights. I can’t wear a dress and fight for those who are treated unfairly. I can’t be afraid of bugs and still fight for those who are told they’re inferior.

WRONG: You can be ANYONE you want to be and fight equality. You can look however you want, sound however you, smell however you want, and have whatever spiritual beliefs you choose.

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5. You have to hate men

Well, that’s going to be a problem for my future husband. Awkward.

WRONG: For the millionth time, fighting for female rights subsequently means fighting for male rights. So, feminists actually can’t hate men or else they’re fakes. Feminists work with men and will work with men until there is no division of power. Let’s all just love each other ❤

 

 

SO, FIGHT ON, LADIES AND GENTS!

Original post on my new website found here

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Expectation vs. RL: Dieting

It’s a constant war between our love of food and wanting to be “fit”. We want all our muscles being showcased, abs popping out, butt tight, and legs as toned as Carrie Underwood’s… BUT OMG FOOD.

1. The realization that you need to start eating cleaner

Expectation: I gained 1 pound – better get back into shape!

Reality: I gained 1 pound…every day for the last three years straight.

 

2. The first day feels

Expectation: I feel so renewed and ready for this!

Reality: Maybe I’ll start tomorrow?

 

 

3. The first day’s food inventory

Expectation: Fruits and veggies everywhere!

Reality: Someone at work brings doughnuts in, it’s also someone’s birthday so there’s cake, and then, it’s The-Bachelor-and-Pizza night.

 

 

4. Time to exercise

Expectation: I used to be in such great shape – this is like riding a bike! I’ll be back in shape in no time.

Reality: Died…on the treadmill…walking…for 15 minutes.

 

 

5. Meal preppin’

Expectation: Super easy, fun and diverse meals all ready to go by Sunday night.

Reality: Get half a week’s meals ready one time – time to call it quits.

 

 

6. Choosing healthier options

Expectation: This is so easy, salmon and chicken salads all day, errday.

Reality: Maybe if I order the fat-free Ranch dressing with these wings it’ll be okay.

 

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7. Three months later…

Expectation: Look at those abs popping out!

Reality: LOL 3 months? I quit DAY 3.

 

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But have no fear, you high-expectation folks. You’re not alone! Plus, who really needs to “diet”? Food is too precious to waste.

Until next time

xOx

Find the original post on my new website: www.shaylaokeeffe.com

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If Food was My Valentine

Let’s be honest, if we could pick our Valentine, the majority of us would pick a food item…or items. Food knows us best and in all the right ways.

Food won’t leave me

“Single humor #morefoodforme #foodlover:

Food knows my deepest desires

She wears short skirts,I eat pizza. she's cheer captain and I'm still eating  pizza.:

Food cares about my well-being

I like this fact. I'll use it next time someone gripes about my donut habits.:

Food won’t leave feeling me empty inside

When you're full, then someone brings out a cake.:

Food calms me when I’m stressed

Nerd Out On 28 Funny Pictures Check more at http://8bitnerds.com/nerd-out-on-28-funny-pictures-2/:

Food can’t hurt me

Nutrition and BalloFlex...a great pair!  Love the good fat.   Food Humor #35:

All in all, food is the winner. What could be a better date? Enjoy your V-Day while I’ll be with my true love…food.

xOx

 

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V-Day, or AKA Victory Day

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It’s that time of year again! The time for flowers, chocolate, fancy dinners, and heart shaped everything from cookies to pillows to toilet paper sheets. Instead of complaining about it or calling it SAD-day, let’s call it the name it deserves…Victory Day.

We’re victors! We have stayed single for another WHOLE year! We did it, despite all odds: we remained companion-free.

February 14 is a day to celebrate our singleness. Our day to celebrate independence and individuality. Our day to celebrate our ability to not give in to societal standards of being coupled off.

How to Celebrate Victory Day:

 

1. Turn that frown upside down… into smirks

 

2. Catch those tears and water the flowers planted in the ashes of your ex’s stuff

 

3. Throw away the pity-chocolates and order yourself a damn cake to congratulate yourself

 

4. Take those heart shaped candies and crush them as party favors for V-Day

 

5. Don’t cancel that dinner reservation, find the sexiest dress you have, and grab your bestie

 

6. Don’t run from the color red, instead paint your face for battle

 

Forever Alone on valentines day

 

Embrace the holiday with open arms and a heart full of sass. It will make it so much better while all those fake couples showcase their love as publicly as they can.

 

xOx

 

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A Guide to the Super Bowl

It’s that yearly event where men put on helmets and chase a ball down the field, and we have to pretend we actually care. Here’s a guide to help those, who don’t really care, get through the night. Here’s what to expect and how to deal with it.

 

1. Look up who’s playing

It’s an über American team from New England and some vicious birds from Atlanta.

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2. This is Superbowl LI

Which means “Losers Involved” – jk it’s for 51….as in the 51st game…how did we make it this far?

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3. Learn some quick facts about the past games

Learn what Deflate Gate is… Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds…deflated egos…

New England has been in it 8 times already (greedy bastards) and Atlanta has only been in it once before (so sad).

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4. Plan your party

Aka: Find the best, most carb-packed recipes you can.

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5. Alcohol, lots of alcohol which can help pass the time

Normally, one does not promote drinking, but in this case it’s the only thing to help you get through football

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6. Don’t talk during the commercials

Talking during the game is fine, in fact go ahead and chat it up. But, as soon as the commercials come on you betta shut da heck up.

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7. The half-time show is “The World’s Biggest Stage”

And Lady Gaga will be singing so get your crazy ready.

The Funniest Memes From Superbowl 50 - 18 Pics:

 

8. Who do you want to win?

Honestly, don’t care. The red/white/blue team or the black/red team. Personally, black is quite fashionable and slimming, so I’m going to go with them.

Grumpy Cat Humor | NBA Playoffs | Grumpy Cat's take on the first game of the NBA playoffs | "I hope both teams lose! | From the Funny Technology community on Google+:

 

 

Good luck and may your weight gain not be as dramatic as it feels

xOx

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If Social Media Were People

If social media platforms were people, they would be quite the crowd. Not necessarily a bad crowd but a weird one. Like Friends, they all just go together somehow.

 

1. Facebook – The Parent

Facebook has slowly turned into “remember the time…” or “read this important article to save your life…” or “I just ate a burger LOL”. It’s a platform to brag about stuff you’ve accomplished or to educate your peers – so, lots of reading. Facebook, like a parent, lets you know when something important is happening or when someone’s birthday is coming up.

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2. Instagram – The Hipster

Instagram is the gypsy, the hipster, the photographer, the adventurer person of the group. AKA – the millennial. But still, this is the person who looks like they party all day, travel every weekend, and eat loads of calories but is still stick-thin. The artsty platform is a nice visual break from the other social media platforms in the bunch but is also super far from realistic.

Same thing with Facebook, Twitter, Four Square, and any other social media outlet out there except... Pinterest of course....:

 

3. Snapchat – The Teen

OMG so many selfies. It’s the traditional teenager – all about me (the selfies), even when it’s a dangerous circumstance (like driving), with the attention-span of a fly. It’s the teen, who doesn’t know who they want to be. Snapchat added the “chatting feature” so maybe it’s iMessage now? And then, it added the playback feature, so maybe it’s like YouTube a little? Then, you could save the photos, so it wanted to be like Facebook. It just doesn’t know it’s own identity and is really freaking out about it.

or so I thought until my boyfriend said I needed Life Alert.:

 

4. Twitter – The Professor

This is the archaic person of the group, who stubbornly refuses to accept the changes of the world. Twitter is for the elite social media-er, though, because it requires a certain skill to condense your rants and comedic thoughts into just 140 characters. It takes patience, trial and error. This person of the group is the one you want around when you have major decisions to make.

Cuando alguien que no conozco comienza a contarme su vida personal.:

 

5. LinkedIn – The Salesman

LinkedIn is the annoying talker of the group, who tries to motivate everyone to be “a better person” and “strive for excellence” but instead just gets on everyone’s nerves. This person tries to be part of the cool crowd but just didn’t quite make the cut. But it’s also the one that makes you feel the oldest and guilts you into being responsible. Gross.

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6. Tumblr – The Extra

Tumblr is the most confusing one in the group. It’s not really sure if it’s cool or not, but people seem to all know who it is. Is it for photos? Or memes? Or words? We may never really know. Basically, it’s the person you call when  you have no other friends free to hang with, but then it ends up being the best night ever. They are humorously insightful.

Pavlov's goats.   This has nothing to do with the board, I was just hoping you'd enjoy the psychology joke.:

 

7. Pinterest – The Grandma

Pinterest is the cool grandma, though. The one, who knows how to fatten you up when you visit her. The one who teaches you useful things and has the best tips for keeping your life and space organized. The one who saves you more times than you care to admit (how to cook a turkey, how to clean mold, what to use for a fork for, etc.).

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8. WordPress – The Ranter

This is the person who complains about everything (esp life as a twenty-something…). WordPress is the space for chastising the world, for enlightening others, to write about anything and everything no matter how stupid and minute it is. Sometimes these people are funny or even make a good point, but usually the majority of ranters are wasting your time.

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Wow, what a sexy group of people we have here! Which one are you? Obviously, I’m the WordPress Ranter. You’re welcome for wasting your time.

xOx

 

 

 

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