adOPTtion – The New Pregnancy

Get it? OPT to ADOPT? I’m so clever, right?

1 in 6 Americans are impacted by adoption – I’m one of them.

Did you know there are 106,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted?

Did you know 23,000 children age out of the foster care system each year with no family?

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Although National Adoption Month is for raising awareness of those children in foster care, I believe all adoptions, foster care or not, are very important! Foster care children tend to live without a forever family and many only leave when they turn 18 years old. Love is not bound by genes or blood. Love is not strictly between a mother and her biological child. Love is for all the children of this world. Let’s create a movement to leave no child behind.

Here are a few myths and things to think about, regarding adopting:

  1. “I cannot have children so I will never be a mother or father”

Some people are infertile and take the news like a gunshot to the heart. I understand it is sad and a monumental moment in one’s life. However, there are those, who say they can never be a mother or father anymore because of it. Is a child, who is not made up of the same genes as you, not able to be your child? 106,000 children are waiting for parents and a family. These children are afraid no one will ever love them. You can be a mother or father to these children and change their life in more ways than you could ever imagine. You will not only be a parent but also a savior for these boys and girls. You will save them, not create them. You will love those who need love the most. My parents had boys but wanted to be a mother and father to a daughter. Thus, I came into the picture. And obviously made things way better!

  1. “You never know what you’re going to get”

That’s right. You could get an addiction baby, a baby with a disease, a baby with future behavioral issues. Did you know that your own child (made of your blood and genes) could have a disease? Did you know your biological child could have a hereditary disease passed down along family lines? Or maybe your biological child could have an extra chromosome? Or did you know your biological child could have major behavioral issues? Among the evil people of this world, terrorists, serial killers, sexual predators, etc. do you know how many are adopted? Only a few (if any). So no, you don’t know what you’re getting when you adopt a child. However, you have just as little idea when you have a biological child. It’s absurd to use this excuse, and that is all it is: an excuse. My parents got a brilliant, beautiful, angelic bundle, called me. You’re welcome, dad and mom, for being way better than what you thought you were getting.

  1. “The child might never feel like a part of the family”

This is also true…if you treat them like they aren’t part of the family. Love and discipline your adopted child as you would any of you children. It is not that hard of a concept. If you treat them as if they are an outsider, then they will grow up feeling like that. However, showing that parental love, that supportive care, having loads of fun, and making memories will help that child feel a part of you. You will probably even forget you never carried that child yourself! I think I even look like my brothers and my parents, minus the fact that they all wear glasses (go me). Also, you will never be called the child’s “adoptive parents”….my parents are MY PARENTS….no other adjective, except “wonderful” or “loving” or “supportive” and so on. I have never felt like an outsider….I got picked on by my older brothers like true siblings and wrapped my parents right around my cute, pudgy little finger from day 1. What’s more authentic than that?

  1. “You have to love your child”

When you have a biological child, you have to love them, right? They’re your flesh and bones. However, when you adopt a child you chose to WANT to love. How great of a feeling is that? You don’t have to love your child; by opting to adopt, you want to love. You have all this desire to be a parent and help a child grow to their full potential; that’s real love. It is amazing to know my family wanted to love me. And they also have to love me because I’m amazing, and they would be crazy not to.

  1. “All foster kids are labeled as ‘special needs’”

They are only given that label because a lot of children are taken from abusive situations or neglect situations. It does not mean that they need special education needs or have mental disorders or anything of the sorts. A lot of people worry the child may have been a “crack baby” or an “addiction baby” but some women give up their baby because they cannot financially or emotionally care for a child. It is honestly better they do give that child up for adoption than attempt to care for the baby. I’m not a crack baby or an addiction baby or any kind of baby other than a perfect package of loveliness. And there are many more babies like me out there, too. I may be special, but that’s just because I’m too sarcastic and sassy for my own good usually…and I love food too much. #sorrynotsorry

Hands make heart shape

Hands make heart shape

xOx

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