On to my second segment of things I’m Done With: first, driving in Florida, and now I’m done with eating.
Not only do the holidays mean all of your money being spent, it also means all of your diet plans are out of the window. As much as you tell yourself that you will be good this year, it never happens and don’t lie to yourself. So because of that, I’m done eating …. completely.
1. I’m about to explode
Every time someone mentions it’s lunch or dinner, I just want to explode from the inside out. I’m literally on the verge of erupting at any moment. Don’t you dare try to tickle me or else mashed potatoes will spew from from my eyeballs.
2. I hate myself
For all of you who said you ate healthy for the holidays: you are a liar and will never make it to heaven with that attitude. There is no way a person could eat healthy for the holidays or else they are not living properly. But, because I ate my holiday dinner like a normal person, I completely hate myself. I have covered all my mirrors so I don’t have to look at my shameful self. Bad self.
3. Leftovers have a special meaning
It is not just like your typical, weekly chicken-n-rice leftovers that barely pass as edible; holiday dinner leftovers are round two [or round three for some]. It is another entire feast for the day after you gorged on food. I just want one pathetic, stingy plate of food when it’s the acceptable time to eat.
4. I broke my own trust
I thought I could handle all of the sweets around me. I thought I had control. I thought I could stop. I thought I could say no. I thought I was stronger than that. But lo and behold, I am weak. What’s wrong with stuffing a dessert in my mouth while everyone opens presents, while we cook dinner, between every course of the meal, and after the meal?
5. Everything is boring now
After indulging in holiday goodness, it is hard to get back to reality and even harder to get back to realistic meals….like ramen noodles and cereal. All my hopes of delicious eating have been fulfilled and were even over-satisfied, but now it is time to get back to boring meals and flavorless dishes made from the scraps in the fridge or cupboard.
And on that note, I’m going to go finish off that tin of holiday cookies that has been calling my name as I write this post….