There are many varieties of coffee, coffee-hings, and coffee drinkers. To celebrate this glorious, caffeinated day, I want to share the different types of coffee drinkers out there. Which are you?
1. The Aristocrat
This person sips lattes that have fancy designs in the foam and some spices sprinkled dramatically one top. Coffee is only served in a white mug on top of a white plate and must be drank with one pinky finger extended. Stay away from me, peasants.
2. The Businessperson
This person has more to-go cups in their car than they do gas in the tank. I mean, who can really get through a work day without coffee? And they totally judge people at the office, who don’t have coffee on their desk.
3. The Brit
This person doesn’t drink coffee and makes sure to announce that at least once a day. I mean, it’s so bad for you. We know you don’t drink coffee, Karen, but cocaine is worse so I win.
4. The Neurotic One
This person has SO much coffee in their body at all times that they start to prove science wrong that people need water to survive. It’s basically just brown water with an extra kick, anyway, right? #sohealthy
5. The Gibbs
This person drinks black coffee only. No cream. No sugar. No cup. Just straight black coffee. They regularly call out those who put other things in their coffee. I’m sorry if I don’t want to drink acidic mud.
6. The Sorority Girl
This person drinks only Starbucks coffee. Coffee is Starbucks and Starbucks is coffee. Naked, green mermaid for lyfe.
7. The College Student
This person can be combined with any of the above, but the difference is that this person did not ever drink coffee until their first college exam. That was the end of all innocence. I just want to go back…
Comment below which coffee drinker is you!
Until next time