Monthly Archives: January 2017

If Social Media Were People

If social media platforms were people, they would be quite the crowd. Not necessarily a bad crowd but a weird one. Like Friends, they all just go together somehow.

 

1. Facebook – The Parent

Facebook has slowly turned into “remember the time…” or “read this important article to save your life…” or “I just ate a burger LOL”. It’s a platform to brag about stuff you’ve accomplished or to educate your peers – so, lots of reading. Facebook, like a parent, lets you know when something important is happening or when someone’s birthday is coming up.

 :

2. Instagram – The Hipster

Instagram is the gypsy, the hipster, the photographer, the adventurer person of the group. AKA – the millennial. But still, this is the person who looks like they party all day, travel every weekend, and eat loads of calories but is still stick-thin. The artsty platform is a nice visual break from the other social media platforms in the bunch but is also super far from realistic.

Same thing with Facebook, Twitter, Four Square, and any other social media outlet out there except... Pinterest of course....:

 

3. Snapchat – The Teen

OMG so many selfies. It’s the traditional teenager – all about me (the selfies), even when it’s a dangerous circumstance (like driving), with the attention-span of a fly. It’s the teen, who doesn’t know who they want to be. Snapchat added the “chatting feature” so maybe it’s iMessage now? And then, it added the playback feature, so maybe it’s like YouTube a little? Then, you could save the photos, so it wanted to be like Facebook. It just doesn’t know it’s own identity and is really freaking out about it.

or so I thought until my boyfriend said I needed Life Alert.:

 

4. Twitter – The Professor

This is the archaic person of the group, who stubbornly refuses to accept the changes of the world. Twitter is for the elite social media-er, though, because it requires a certain skill to condense your rants and comedic thoughts into just 140 characters. It takes patience, trial and error. This person of the group is the one you want around when you have major decisions to make.

Cuando alguien que no conozco comienza a contarme su vida personal.:

 

5. LinkedIn – The Salesman

LinkedIn is the annoying talker of the group, who tries to motivate everyone to be “a better person” and “strive for excellence” but instead just gets on everyone’s nerves. This person tries to be part of the cool crowd but just didn’t quite make the cut. But it’s also the one that makes you feel the oldest and guilts you into being responsible. Gross.

Image result for linedin humor

 

6. Tumblr – The Extra

Tumblr is the most confusing one in the group. It’s not really sure if it’s cool or not, but people seem to all know who it is. Is it for photos? Or memes? Or words? We may never really know. Basically, it’s the person you call when  you have no other friends free to hang with, but then it ends up being the best night ever. They are humorously insightful.

Pavlov's goats.   This has nothing to do with the board, I was just hoping you'd enjoy the psychology joke.:

 

7. Pinterest – The Grandma

Pinterest is the cool grandma, though. The one, who knows how to fatten you up when you visit her. The one who teaches you useful things and has the best tips for keeping your life and space organized. The one who saves you more times than you care to admit (how to cook a turkey, how to clean mold, what to use for a fork for, etc.).

Image result for pinterest humor

 

8. WordPress – The Ranter

This is the person who complains about everything (esp life as a twenty-something…). WordPress is the space for chastising the world, for enlightening others, to write about anything and everything no matter how stupid and minute it is. Sometimes these people are funny or even make a good point, but usually the majority of ranters are wasting your time.

Image result for blogging humor

 

Wow, what a sexy group of people we have here! Which one are you? Obviously, I’m the WordPress Ranter. You’re welcome for wasting your time.

xOx

 

 

 

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

What NOT to Say to 20-Somethings

We get it. We should have more of our life put together. We know “at my age I was working full-time and raising a family already,” mom. And we know “at my age I had ten kids already and a house to take care of,” grandma. But guess what? It’s not the 1900s anymore, so society tells us we don’t need to be doing that right now!

Some things are just out of our control, though. I mean, we can’t help that there are too many people on this planet. We can’t help that since Social Security sucks so much, more old people are staying in the workforce. We can’t help that there are a million college degrees to chose from and no one helps us choose a practical one. We can’t help that money doesn’t grow on trees.

There are seven things that you just really shouldn’t tell (or ask) a 20-something, in general:

1.”You should find a company that offers good benefits to its employees.”

What’s wrong: First, finding ANY job would be a good start. And second, DUH, of course we need benefits; as much as the Airborne commercials claim, it won’t save you from much…like your failing vision or alcoholism.

 

2. “When do you think you’ll settle down?”

What’s wrong: First, “settling down” requires a place to settle down like a home, which we cannot afford. Second, why is THAT the first thing family asks us? If I knew, I’d have a ring on my finger, now wouldn’t I?

 

3. “You really shouldn’t drink so much.”

What’s wrong: For starters, we didn’t ask you. Also, if vino is BOGO, I’m buying-o.

 

4. “You should start a savings account.”

What’s wrong: One, no, I actually like to play this fun game where I use up all my money to the last penny each month. Two, to open an account you need money…and to get money you need a job…and to get a job you need experience…and to get experience you need a job…

 

5. “Just apply everywhere! Someone has to be hiring!”

What’s wrong: First, I, along with a million other recent grads are all applying simultaneously. Second, applying everywhere isn’t exactly effective because I can’t afford to live everywhere.

 

6. “Do you just sit around all day?”

What’s wrong: First, you’re assuming I sit – in fact, I lay down. Second, applying for jobs is a full-time position in itself: checking all the hiring websites each day, reading about the new position, writing a cover letter to match that position, uploading your resume only to find you STILL have to manually input all the info on the application, submitting the application, and then repeating.

 

7. “This is the time for you to find your passions.”

Although somewhat true, what’s wrong: First, you say that but you also expect us to start working ASAP. Second, you say that but you also tell us to realistically reign in our dreams and hopes.

If anything, just don’t offer us any advice because as millennials, we know everything already and are happily ignoring the truth. Thanks, bai.

xOx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Being in Your 20s: Curse or Blessing?

Let’s face it, we have major ups and downs in our 20s. A lot of shit happens, both good and bad. Some of it is super ugly, lots of crying and anger. Some of it is great though, with screams and jumps and smiles wider than your face. It’s all part of the game, so we just have to learn how to live it.

Yeah, sure these things can happen to 30-year-olds, too, but we’re selfish as millennials, and it’s all about us, so we go through way more, obviously (insert sassy emoji).

So is this all actually a blessing or a curse?

It's a time to figure out the rest of your life:

Let’s take it as a curse, first. Yeah it sucks.

1. We have no money – Literally. We’re actually in the negatives, with college debt and all the online shopping we do, which leads us to yelling at ourselves for being so stupid, and then to feel better we eat a lot and shop online again.

2. Our degree is useless – Very few 20-somethings have a degree that actually gets them a job. So, you know what that means? Back to school! Or settling for the worst job you could think of…retail.

3. Moving is just an emotional nightmare – We have to move from our undergrad oasis, with many of us having to move back home. Or you have to move out of an apartment and have no prospects of where to live next, that’s always fun. But the worst circumstance is when your friends moves away (ugly crying).

4. The job hunt is the absolute worst – We spend at least a year looking for a job, and then, we find one that really sucks but we’re stuck in it. We see the 1 in 100,000 of us millennials find a cool job and sulk for days because we’re obviously not cool enough.

5. We second guess everything – Should I have graduated with that degree? Should I go to graduate school? Is there a job out there for me? Will I ever move out of my parents’ house…again? Will I ever get married? Does it matter if I ever get married? How many cats is too many? Delete social media…bring it back…delete again…bring it back…

Becoming an adult is all about learning from your elders:

BUT, some of the things that happen to us while we’re in our 20s are blessings (maybe in disguise but hopefully are super obvious because we don’t have to patience to figure that ish out).

1. We can still start over – It’s not too late. You can start over at any age, really, even when you’re an old geezer. It’s just easier now, especially if you have the time and the motivation and have nothing tying you down. Change your career path (I did!) or change your relationship or change your underwear…that would be a good start.

2. New people, new friends – If we have to move, or if our friends move away, then we have to take that as an opportunity to meet new people because you never know who might be your new best friend. And they might even help you find a job one day.

3. We can sharpen our skills – Now that we don’t have homework or exams anymore (given you’ve graduated), we have allllll this time to do things we like. And who knows? Maybe it will lead to a job. If you have time, don’t waste it because even if your hobbies aren’t going to rake in the dough for you, at least it’s a stress reliever for you and keeps you mentally busy.

4. We can travel – Since our friends moved away to follow their dreams, we can use that as a reason to travel and visit them! What’s better than traveling to see your best friends? Plus, it could convince your folks to help pitch in. Or just travel period: take a road trip by yourself, fly somewhere new and explore. Go before you start your job and you don’t get vacation time for like two years.

5. Focus on you – Although it may seem like most 20-somethings are married or having kids, many of us are still single. And it’s a perfect opportunity to be totally and completely selfish. Even if you’re in a relationship, try to have “You Days” anyway. It’s important to focus on ourselves because we have a long time left in these bodies and with these minds. If it’s physical, spiritual, or emotional, go out and do something for you. Work on that hot bod since you don’t have the distraction of eating all the time with your SO. It sounds uber cheesy, but go find yourself because you’re mid-30s and 40s and 50s will be much better if you do.

"the Boxer" 12"x16" Poster Print – The Official Awkward Yeti Store - theAwkwardStore.com

It all depends on how you look at it, but it’s totally fine to be down about being in your 20s. This time in our lives is important, big things happen and some might be pretty ugly. But other things will be total miracles. Chalk up the bad as lessons learned and something checked off the list, and stay sarcastic…I mean hopeful…and everything will be just fine.

Promise.

 

 

Until next time,

xOx

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized