If social media platforms were people, they would be quite the crowd. Not necessarily a bad crowd but a weird one. Like Friends, they all just go together somehow.
1. Facebook – The Parent
Facebook has slowly turned into “remember the time…” or “read this important article to save your life…” or “I just ate a burger LOL”. It’s a platform to brag about stuff you’ve accomplished or to educate your peers – so, lots of reading. Facebook, like a parent, lets you know when something important is happening or when someone’s birthday is coming up.
2. Instagram – The Hipster
Instagram is the gypsy, the hipster, the photographer, the adventurer person of the group. AKA – the millennial. But still, this is the person who looks like they party all day, travel every weekend, and eat loads of calories but is still stick-thin. The artsty platform is a nice visual break from the other social media platforms in the bunch but is also super far from realistic.
3. Snapchat – The Teen
OMG so many selfies. It’s the traditional teenager – all about me (the selfies), even when it’s a dangerous circumstance (like driving), with the attention-span of a fly. It’s the teen, who doesn’t know who they want to be. Snapchat added the “chatting feature” so maybe it’s iMessage now? And then, it added the playback feature, so maybe it’s like YouTube a little? Then, you could save the photos, so it wanted to be like Facebook. It just doesn’t know it’s own identity and is really freaking out about it.
4. Twitter – The Professor
This is the archaic person of the group, who stubbornly refuses to accept the changes of the world. Twitter is for the elite social media-er, though, because it requires a certain skill to condense your rants and comedic thoughts into just 140 characters. It takes patience, trial and error. This person of the group is the one you want around when you have major decisions to make.
5. LinkedIn – The Salesman
LinkedIn is the annoying talker of the group, who tries to motivate everyone to be “a better person” and “strive for excellence” but instead just gets on everyone’s nerves. This person tries to be part of the cool crowd but just didn’t quite make the cut. But it’s also the one that makes you feel the oldest and guilts you into being responsible. Gross.
6. Tumblr – The Extra
Tumblr is the most confusing one in the group. It’s not really sure if it’s cool or not, but people seem to all know who it is. Is it for photos? Or memes? Or words? We may never really know. Basically, it’s the person you call when you have no other friends free to hang with, but then it ends up being the best night ever. They are humorously insightful.
7. Pinterest – The Grandma
Pinterest is the cool grandma, though. The one, who knows how to fatten you up when you visit her. The one who teaches you useful things and has the best tips for keeping your life and space organized. The one who saves you more times than you care to admit (how to cook a turkey, how to clean mold, what to use for a fork for, etc.).
8. WordPress – The Ranter
This is the person who complains about everything (esp life as a twenty-something…). WordPress is the space for chastising the world, for enlightening others, to write about anything and everything no matter how stupid and minute it is. Sometimes these people are funny or even make a good point, but usually the majority of ranters are wasting your time.
Wow, what a sexy group of people we have here! Which one are you? Obviously, I’m the WordPress Ranter. You’re welcome for wasting your time.