Category Archives: Twentsomethings

I’m Done With: Driving (in FL)

Florida’s driving experience in one sentence:  Driving across a bridge for days next to a million-year-old person from ‘up North’ and running over construction cones. Welcome to the Sunshine state.

One, OLD PEOPLE.

Not only do they drive slowly, but they drive erratically. But that’s probably because they are sitting so far up in their seat that their forehead touches the windshield. One cannot properly drive if his or her chest is caved into the steering wheel. Also, old people are so short that you never know if someone is actually in the driver’s seat or not….”Maybe it’s one of those new driver-less cars!……oh no, just a hundred-year-old man again.” #disappointed

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Second, SNOWBIRDS

What’s worse than old people all over the roadways? Snowbirds. They are old people from out of town, which means they cannot drive by default plus have an out-of-town handicap. let me define snowbirds for you: people who want to escape the cold but clog up our roads and create severe rage among Floridians. When the sign says 45MPH, it means 50MPH is the socially acceptable speed, 45MPH is the you-must-have-just-gotten-a-ticket speed, 40MPH is you’re-testing-my-patience-speed and anything else means you need to get off of the road right this second. Snowbirds always go 10MPH under the limit. Plus their sense of proper driving must completely escape their brain once they depart from their home state. Stopping traffic so you can move over 4 lanes for a right turn coming up in 2 miles IS NOT OKAY.

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Third, CONSTRUCTION

It never ends. Probably because our state never ends. But still, once you think you’ve made it to a clearing in traffic, WHAM. It is all a cruel game the government plays with you. One moment you are cruising, peacefully above the speed limit, and then within seconds you have to completely stop and merge three lanes into one. And people wonder why one of Florida’s cities is at the top of the country’s road rage list (cough, cough Miami).

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Fourth, WEATHER

Honestly, cars in Florida should be half boats. See when it rains, it pours. Flooding is a given between the months of June and September. But Floridians don’t stop for rain, hail, hurricanes, or anything. We’ve been through it all and nothing phases us. But what it does phase is our cars. You’d think we would learn that we stall out when the rain is up to the top of our windshields, but nope. Every time there is a wave of rain, there are a bunch of cars making their final trip to the junk yard. RIP grandma’s Lincoln Town car.

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Lastly, BRIDGES

Florida has many long bridges because nothing is connected here. We have bodies of water everywhere, so it is nothing new to be crossing a bridge for over 15 minutes. Literally, you take a bridge from some places just to get to a grocery store or a gas station. Those warnings to check your gas tank levels are all too real. Who even remembers they need gas for their car? Well, you remember when you’re on a bridge for more than 10 miles.

 

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So if you plan to visit Florida, be prepared to test your driving limits. And if you live in Florida, I’m so sorry for having no patience left anymore.

– God speed and good luck –

xOx

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Humor, meme, social life, Twentsomethings, Uncategorized

8 Things You Know You’ve Done

You know you’ve done each and every one of these things. Don’t lie to yourself. Or me.

  1. Slowing down as you are passing a cop with radar hoping the radar only catches your speed when you literally right in front of the police car
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  2. Drinking cold water after burning your tongue or throat hoping it would un-burn you
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  3. Trying to delete a text while it’s still sending in hopes that stops it from going through
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  4. Eating an entire pizza by yourself and immediately start walking around to attempt to freeze the calories in time
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  5. Punching someone in the neck while going in for a hug because you couldn’t figure out whose arms were going on top
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  6. Paying your credit card frantically hoping that every minute you save you don’t get the full interest.
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  7. Tearing the grocery bag, giving yourself a hernia, and popping a blood vessel in your face while you struggle to make only one trip up the stairs after shopping
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  8. Watering your plant after it has already turned yellow-brown…it can come back from this, right?
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Filed under GIF, GIFs, Humor, meme, Post Grad, Post Grad Life, Post Grad Problems, Student, Twentsomethings, Twentysomethings, Uncategorized

OMG, Add Me on LinkedIn?!

Now that we are…how shall I say…older, we are evolving in our social media standards.

First, our generation was judging incisively on MySpace. Then, luckily, Facebook entered our lives and saved some – only some – of our humanity. Instagram crept into our lives, igniting our competitiveness for the ‘coolest’ filtered photo. Snapchat made us realize how annoying people were with their incessant need to send snaps of their food. Thanks for helping my diet, jerks.

Now, LinkedIn is the new and coolest thing for us twentysomething, young adults. It is definitely the one social media account we should be using (seriously). This is a great way to stay in touch with professional connections and find new ones. You can also look for job postings and search companies on this site, which is great for you poor (literally) unfortunate souls.

Blog1But there are a few thoughts that will cross your mind as you begin this phase in your life. A lot of self-judgment will occur, and in retrospect, you’re going to have some regrets of how little you actually did with your life up until now. Sorry, but best of luck!

  1. Cool, I get to make a new profile

Oh wait…I have no real experience or past work. I look like a lazy brat now.

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  1. Oo, I can upload a profile picture

Which shall I use: the totally not-sober one from senior year shenanigans or the ratchet one of me dying from heat
stroke at a football game? Let’s face it, no one has real headshots already done…that requires money.

  1. The skills section should be easy

Wait, what kind of skills are these? Excel, Leadership, and Management? What happened to eating, sleeping, and
being frugal? (You will begin to question even the most basic skills you think you have…like spelling)

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  1. Profile is complete

This is the most boring profile of myself. I look like an eighteen-year-old, who has to repeat senior year.

  1. Finding connections

Oh I know her! Woah…she’s done that much with her life so far? Liar. Fraud. Still, she makes me look bad, so I will
not be requesting her.

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  1. Someone looked at my profile!

Wait a minute, you can see who looks at your profile? I’m suddenly regretting my stalking. Why didn’t someone tell me
first?!

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  1. What the heck are second connections?

Too much brain power is needed for this ‘social media’ site. My brain has the hurts.

  1. Can this be like a dating site, too?

Finally found a nice professional-ish photo; not one of those ‘professional’ shots that include the perfected deer-in-
the-headlights look, old-lady hair style, and shoulder-padded suit. Time to scout out the cutest connections!

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If you do not have a LinkedIn profile yet, take these points as warnings. Go out and do some stuff with your time and fill up that resume! If you already do have a LinkedIn profile, you understand what a mental struggle this point in life really is.

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xOx

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Filed under College, Graduates, Post Grad, Post Grad Life, Post Grad Problems, Twentsomethings, Undergrad