Tag Archives: being single

There is an I in Single

There is a certain stigma that comes with saying, “Yes, I’m single.” But why? We should be free, independent, always-moving, chance taking beings while in our twenties. How to be Single was a great movie and really opened my eyes to the reality of being single and how to embrace it.

Why is it that when you see people or family, who you have not seen in awhile, ask if you are seeing someone? That is literally in the top three questions: “How are you? What are you doing? Are you dating anyone?” And why is it when you say no that they either purse their lips or go “aw” like it is a bad thing?

Maybe it is the way we say “no” back to them. Maybe we need to change our way of thinking to change the viewpoints of our singleness in others. Maybe the problem starts with us.

There are so many things we could be doing instead of being sad over not having a significant other. There are so many reasons we could be happy instead of being sad over not having a boyfriend or girlfriend.


If you think about it, we have only been on this planet for two decades and a good part of that time we are trying to forget our awkwardness ever happened. And, as much as we say we are getting old, we are actually not that old. Would you really want to be stuck with the same person for 60+ more years?! You need time for yourself; time to discover yourself and discover your passions. We have plenty of time for marriage and love. Be free, my child.


No commitment means no one to talk to about your plans. You can do what you want, when you want, with whom you want. You can move for a job and not have to work it out with another person’s career or life. You can take a chance with an internship far away and just pack up and leave. You can travel to visit fiends and not feel guilty for going.


Think about it: your future significant other can be anyone. Literally, the possibilities are endless. You can still dream who he or she will be, what they look like, what they like to do, what job they will have, etc. Being hopeful is not a bad thing. Many people say you can get your hopes up when reality comes knocking. I think of it as reality is just different than our specific daydreams, but that does not mean reality is bad.


You can do anything you want. You can go back to school, start a new job, travel or move wherever, make new friends of your choosing. The world is literally open to you, and no one can hold you back. Relationships require working, require putting others’ needs right alongside your own. But, being single is the best excuse to be selfish. It is all about you and you do not have to feel guilty for acting that way. You will have plenty of time later in life to worry about a spouse and children.


Try something new, meet someone new. Expand your knowledge. Immerse yourself in culture. Take a chance with your career and future. Make that leap you were afraid to before, without thinking of anyone but yourself. Take those chances now before you actually do have to settle down. Live freely and be happy and never look back.


One of my absolute favorite quotes comes from The Wanderess by Roman Payne: “She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city.”


So embrace your singleness. Go forth and do something amazing with it before you have your happy ever after. Don’t regret not using your time alone to your advantage.



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Dating in Postgrad

Ah, the dating scene is quite the place to be. A bunch of single, beautiful people casually milling around, laughing lightly and chatting about smart adult-like topics with a chilled drink in their hand.

Too bad I’m not at this scene.

Too bad this scene doesn’t exist.

Too bad this scene is just like the scene in “19 Kids and Counting” where Josh Duggar spills the beans on live TV and gets punched in the face…it will never happen.

The dating life after undergrad is pretty much close to non-existent. So word to the wise, find your mate before you graduate.

Here’s a couple things you’ll find to be true about the postgrad dating life:

1. Mathematically speaking, you’re screwed.

There are just fewer options out here in the real world. Marriage is happening at an early point in life, generationally.



2. You don’t go places to meet potentials.

Where are you possible going to run into a potential date? The McDonald’s drive-thru? Or maybe the pizza delivery person? Just face it, you don’t go many places where singles are just hanging out. It’s a rough pill to swallow.


3. You don’t go anywhere PERIOD.

Either you work a 40+hr a week job or you go to grad school. Either way, you don’t have a life anymore. You come home from work and crash on the couch, barely making to the kitchen to scrounge up some Easy Mac. Or you come home late from classes and being at the library all day and don’t even make it to the couch.



4. You judge a lot quicker now.

No job? Not in school? Can’t even go and get a haircut? No thanks. I need someone who has more of their crap together than I do, if this is going to work.



5. You’re poor.

I have no money to go out to places to meet someone. I have no money for a wedding! I have no money for a house! How can I possible date anyone with this bank account? I have to think long-term, here.



Until next time, xOx

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