We all know the Super Bowl is full of friends, competition, food and drunkenness, BUT the most important part is definitely the commercials.
Just go on Facebook and see how many of your friends wrote this exact status: “I just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials”
Okay. Thanks for sharing, friend.
Anyway, if you missed the Super Bowl becuase you live under a rock somewhere far, far away or you are just too stubborn to admit you actually want to watch it, here are the commercial highlights you need to know about.
1- Mountain Dew’s new energy drink
The Puppy-Monkey-Baby was beyond terrifying. The legs of a baby, the body of a monkey, and the face of a pug. I will not sleep soundly tonight. However, I would like to know which manager was drunk or high enough to let that advertisemt slide. Also, not noted in the commercial, that thing is the main character of the next horror film coming to theaters soon.
2- Super Bowl Babies
Having the children conceived from a Super Bowl victory is an odd image to showcase. Those kids are going to grow up hating their parents both for making them be in that commercial and for being conceived over a football game. And, it really makes me look at my friends with November birthdays differently… Casual conversation, so what is your parents’ favorite football team?
3- MATT DAMON
Jason Bourne is back. And Mr. Damon is looking sexier than ever. That salt and pepper ‘do is working for him and every woman in the world. Right when you thought he was out of commission, Bourne is back to kick butt and hopefully take off his shirt a couple of times.
4- OIC is a serious concern
Opioid-Induced Constaptation. Now we know why that druggy coworker is always cranky, he can’t poop! It’s also a great way for parents to know what’s going on with their children: Have you gone to the bathroom lately? No….. I knew you were using drugs! Symptoms include every general symptom for the common cold, the flu, indigestion, a pulled muscles, and a sprained finger. But you may also not have any symptoms! So it’s basically still unknown.
5- Doritos in general
Doritos left us wondering if we were impressed or severely grossed out. From the baby flinging himself out of his mother’s womb and the three dogs dressing up as a human to buy chips at the store, we can only question the age of those creating these ads. (18 year old males, right?)
All those wiener dogs dressed as hot dogs. Enough said.
7- Hyundai and Ryan Reynolds
Talk about unrealistic, who could actually keep driving without crashing her car after seeing not one, but a dozen, Ryan Reynolds?! Obviously fake. [Note: fakeness has nothing to do with the fact that there were multiple Ryans]
[I’ll add good ones as they play]