Tag Archives: ecards

Dating in Postgrad

Ah, the dating scene is quite the place to be. A bunch of single, beautiful people casually milling around, laughing lightly and chatting about smart adult-like topics with a chilled drink in their hand.

Too bad I’m not at this scene.

Too bad this scene doesn’t exist.

Too bad this scene is just like the scene in “19 Kids and Counting” where Josh Duggar spills the beans on live TV and gets punched in the face…it will never happen.

The dating life after undergrad is pretty much close to non-existent. So word to the wise, find your mate before you graduate.

Here’s a couple things you’ll find to be true about the postgrad dating life:

1. Mathematically speaking, you’re screwed.

There are just fewer options out here in the real world. Marriage is happening at an early point in life, generationally.

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http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi0xZGUxMmI2OTE2NjBjNjJm

2. You don’t go places to meet potentials.

Where are you possible going to run into a potential date? The McDonald’s drive-thru? Or maybe the pizza delivery person? Just face it, you don’t go many places where singles are just hanging out. It’s a rough pill to swallow.

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3. You don’t go anywhere PERIOD.

Either you work a 40+hr a week job or you go to grad school. Either way, you don’t have a life anymore. You come home from work and crash on the couch, barely making to the kitchen to scrounge up some Easy Mac. Or you come home late from classes and being at the library all day and don’t even make it to the couch.

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http://www.bustaflash.com/working-memes-20-pics

4. You judge a lot quicker now.

No job? Not in school? Can’t even go and get a haircut? No thanks. I need someone who has more of their crap together than I do, if this is going to work.

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http://www.gurl.com/2013/07/30/imsinglebecause-twitter-hashtag-memes-being-single/

5. You’re poor.

I have no money to go out to places to meet someone. I have no money for a wedding! I have no money for a house! How can I possible date anyone with this bank account? I have to think long-term, here.

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/miserable-experiences-that-will-make-you-glad-summer-is-e?sub=2559401_1558659

Until next time, xOx

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Rawr. It’s Shark Week.

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Well, folks, it is that time of year where everyone in their right mind becomes un-right. People’s minds get infested…like the oceans apparently…with sharks. This next week is one where people are so obsessed with teeth, Jaws, bites, and blood that this deserves its own holiday spot on calendars.

Even our pets are suffering from our sporadic infatuation of the bone-crunching monsters of the sea. If your cat or dog could speak to you, they wouldn’t…they would just slap you.

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What you could witness this week:

First, some of the clothing options become…special.

Some of the things people wear this week are “People of Walmart” level. You will start to see shark shirts and tanks everywhere for the next few days. It’s a yearly craze that cannot be stopped. You may as well stock up now for the rest of your life. However, sometimes the line between clothing and costumes gets blurred. If ‘normal’ clothes aren’t enough for you to show off your recently acclaimed fascination of sharks, try a costume. People dress up like it is Halloween, and yet no one questions is. It just proves you are extremely dedicated, like these here fine gentleman.

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What an odd placement of that shark tail on that costume…

Next comes shark-themed munchies at your neighborhood Shark-Week-party. These snacks go above and beyond in making you lose your appetite. Ah, the site of blood really makes me hungry. Thanks for now ruining food for me, Discovery Channel.

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I can no longer eat watermelon without a little gag first.

Then come all of the facts that completely reverse the idea of shark week. See, by making a 7-day event on just sharks, it would seem that the oceans are crowded with them and shark attacks happen on the daily. Then, you find out that none of this is actually true. Thus, the entire premise of this week is reversed. We are simultaneously becoming terrified yet calmed. Thanks for the emotional confusion, Discovery Channel!

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So turn on the TV and start your week. We all get sucked into this non-official holiday. It’s time to re-live your childhood fears of going into the water at the beach. It’s time to have Jaws nightmares again. It’s time to watch TV in a cold sweat.

It’s officially Shark Week!

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