Tag Archives: friends

#NationalBestFriendDay Post-Grad Style

The idea of our “best friend” has evolved as awkwardly as we have since childhood: there are many phases of best friends and many types of BFFs. Some stay with us since childhood and others we are lucky enough to pick up along the way.

We have gone from the best friend, who we played make-believe games with as toddlers.

To the BBFLs in elementary school, who we tried new sports with and pretended we were “big kids.”

To the best friends in middle school, who we mutually helped get through the inexplicable awkwardness of 6th-8th grade.

To the best friends in high school, who we acted like pure fools with and thought we could handle a lot more than we actually could.

To the sistas (or bros) in college, who we cried in front of, who knew our secrets, who tested our limits, and who struggled hard with us.

To the current besties in our post-grad life. They are a special kind of best friend. There are different life experiences to explore, different stories to tell, different problems to tackle.

Here are the types of best-friend-moments you will have in your post grad, adult-like life:

 

1. “Going Out” means going out the door (only slightly) to get the pizza delivery 

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2. “Girls Nights” are more like laying on the couch (or floor) and just complaining 

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3. “Shopping Days” are when you run into each other at the grocery store and can both only afford a maximum of 6 items

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4. “Movie Nights” are Netflix marathons that turn into weekend-long endeavors 

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5. “Drinks Night” consist of getting all dressed and ready, only to realize it’s already 9:30pm and close to bedtime, so you stay in and drink cheap wine from a bag instead

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6. “Adventures” are more like finding a new, trendy place to eat that is all over social media and pretending you are “cool” or whatever that is these days

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7. “Gossip” is more like pulling up the Facebook accounts of old high school peers and either 1)laughing until you snort or 2) punching the computer screen 

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8. “Laughing-fits” are when you both realize that you have nothing going for you LOLOLololo…. 

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9. Text conversations are just sending each other memes about your day or sending Buzzfeed posts that are scarily-accurate of your current struggles

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10. Birthdays are more like a set actual nights out that you force each other to do 

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So happy National Best Friends Day 2016, you poor kids!

xOx

 

 

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Love 

Love: an intense feeling of deep affection; a person or things that one loves.

Valentine’s Day  is normally associated with couples, lovers, relationships. But, if we are going to look at this day at face value, it is not meant for just those people in relationships.
Love has no boundaries, is not meant for specific people or relationships, is not meant to be restricted by people.

We need to recognize love in our life that does not come from a significant other. We need to recognize love from other people, from other things, and from moments in life. Love is not bound to a boyfriend or girlfriend, or to a person for that matter.

 

Love comes from our family

Love comes from our friends


Love comes from our pets

Love comes from studying what we like in school

Love comes from pursuing our dreams 

Love comes from ourselves appreciating our worth 

Love comes from those laughs shared with people who know us

Love comes from the apology from someone close

Love comes from the sunrise

Love comes from your past, your present and your future

 

So Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. I hope you feel the love today!

 

xOx

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Things We Should All do in our Twenties

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Before you worry about not finding “The One” or settling down or acting like a ‘real adult’, there are a few things you should really do for yourself.

 

  1. Travel

Plan a trip or go spur of the moment! Visit a friend, take a friend, or make new friends on an adventure. Although this is a time in life that you may not have a lot of money, it is the best time to travel. No kids to drag along with you and no work schedule for you and your significant other to work around. Plus, that is what the Internet is for! So many blogs and travel sites have ideas for cheap ways to travel. You need to travel to appreciate things and culture, to appreciate what you have, and to live out your dreams.

  1. Live on Your Own

Whether you have roommates or moved back home after undergrad, you need to leave all of that behind and live on your own for at least the length of one lease. Experience time on your own, so you can prove to yourself and others that you can survive on your own if needed. Teach yourself to not be afraid of the dark! Or just keep every single light on. That’s okay, too.

  1. Find a Career Interest

This is the time of internships, volunteering, temporary jobs, and part-time work. It is time to test different career interests out. Internships are the best (paid ones are a gold mine) because you can test a career option out for a specific amount of time: if you hate it, the day it’s over just toss your ID badge to the wind and find another internship, but if you love it, grab those contacts and work on a way to a full-time position!

  1. Be Happy In Your Own Skin

Be comfortable with who you are. Don’t worry about what you wear, what your make-up looks like, what brand your accessories are. It is not as much a fashion war out here like it was in high school or even undergrad. Don’t worry about judgments and just feel comfortable being 100% YOU. Go out and buy that superhero shirt you always wanted to rock, or that Minion tank that’s irresistible, or that crazy outfit you used to think would make you unpopular.

  1. Maintain Solid Friendships

Up until now in your life, you probably have a few friendships that have outlasted any significant other you have dated. Don’t let those relationships dwindle because you’re too busy trying to “find a man” or a girl. Many people lose friends while they are trying to get the attention of a possible partner. Our twenties is the time to find people to laugh, cry, cheer, and explore with. These friendships keep us grounded throughout our lives, through thick and thin. It is important to have friends in life. Even when you eventually settle down, you will still need friends.

  1. Be Grounded in Your Faith (whatever it may be)

It does not matter what you believe in (God, gods, Jesus, no Jesus, Mother Nature, Fate, etc.). As long as you have grounded morals and have something to keep you accountable to, you will be set in life. Give thanks, forgive, be patient, be optimistic, and help others. You need faith to keep you going in the hard times, so you need to start grounding yourself now before the real tough stuff comes.

xOx

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Be Single this Summer

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~ design and photo created by me ~

People think a summer fling would be the perfect story. However, staying single for the summer is better for you than having any significant other. Instead of spending half of the summer finding someone who is good enough and only being able to spend 6 weeks with them before going back to school/home/work, you should stay single and enjoy the good life. Here are 5 reasons why you should try to stay single during the fine months of May-August.

And remember to stay sassy throughout it all!

1. Freedom 

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This is not meant in a sarcastic or discouraging way. I mean freedom to decide for yourself what YOU want to do, when YOU want to do it. Relationships are compromises and giving things up at times for your significant other. And I’m not saying this is not great for people, but what I am saying is that this is the time for you to be selfish. Like the great Koyoko quote states. Be selfish and learn to love yourself.

  1. Making new friends

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Now, you can meet new people at some social gathering. And you’re ALLOWED to do it! You are single, so no one is restricting you from interacting with the opposite sex. You can mingle, flirt, have fun and meet new people. It is a great thing, really. You do not have to feel guilty by any means. Plus, the summer has way more social events and the atmosphere is so free. It is a great time to be single.

  1. Traveling

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Travel to visit friends without having to accommodate anyone else. Now is the time to travel without any strings attached. Go for days or weeks or a month. You do not have anyone calling you back! Cross things off of YOUR bucket list. You will not need to travel to a random city in the middle of nowhere to meet more family member of your SO’s. Travel to the coast of your interest!

  1. Work on bettering YOU

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Summer time is the personal-renovation months. There is plenty of time to re-adjust your eating habits, start exercising and taking care of yourself, start a new hobby, finish a project, or whatever it is you need to do to find out who you are. You need time to focus on yourself and learn what you really love.

 

  1. Showing yourself you can be independent

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Many times people go from relationship to relationship, but the summer is a great time to step back and force yourself to be on your own. You learn who you are and what you are capable of. Living on your own and living with just yourself is a great lesson in life. Take the time to be selfish and do whatever you feel like!

And just walk by couples and give this face to them: it’s so refreshing!

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Another One Bites the Dust

Once again another friend of mine has gotten engaged. That makes ten of my peers now who have officially committed their lives to their significant other. And yet here I am, completely and one-hundred percent single. Not even a possibility on the horizon. The horizon is as clear as my message inbox. It’s as empty as my bank account. It’s as bare as my refrigerator.

The world today is sending mixed messages, which makes this single-state hard to fully understand. Independence, work-first-centered life, overly social yet commitment-free life, and quick to boredom are the values of our generation and today’s youth. However, a lot of our friends are getting engaged at this point in life. So are we supposed to be the young and free type, or the settle-down early type?

I think I’ve been forced into the first grouping of people. Or is it a defense we take on to explain why we are still single? What is more frustrating is that my Christian friends are the ones who seem to be getting engaged young. They have been in relationships with their SOs for a while, too. And as much as I’ve prayed for some sign, I’ve come up empty. Which only means that the horizon is still in fact clear of any male-sailboats heading to the shore. It’s just not time for me. How is it then that my friends have been graced with such love?

I want to be an independent person with a good career to keep me going, lots of different friends, always on the move. But I also want that special person to come home to at the end of the day, or to call up when I need someone to lean on, or to watch Netflix and eat ice cream with. I’m tired of being the third wheel or the only person without a plus-one at weddings or special events. And as mad as I get, I can’t really blame anyone. I can’t blame myself because I can’t change who I am, I can’t blame a guy because he is not interested in me, I can’t blame the couples I know because they are lucky.

Then comes the questions: Is there something wrong with me? What am I missing that these girls with boyfriends have? Will a guy even want to date me since I’ve never been in a long-term relationship? Do I have commitment problems? You know all of these cross your mind, too, if you are single. I agonize over these questions more than my stomach agonizes over that time between lunch and dinner. I mean, something must be wrong with me, right? I need to accept my bad luck, assume the worst, and move on. Or need to pray for genuine patience and acceptance of life as it is. I need to take in my journey as a single person. I need to learn things on my own, before a significant other is brought into my life, maybe. I need to walk my own path before diverging it with another person.

I hope I can stay positive and keep this mind-frame for a while. Comment back if you’re in the same boat as me! Love to all you singles xox.

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14 Reasons Why You Need a Ross Geller in Your Life

14 Reasons Why You Need a Ross Geller in Your Life

Now that you have matured, and by that I mean been kicked out of the undergrad world and shoved into the work-field or graduate school world, you need certain people in your life. Joey was the heartthrob but not a commitment-type man; Chandler was the goof that made everything nice and awkward, and you don’t need extra help doing that; Monica made it okay to let your inner OCD show but let’s not get carried away now; Rachel helped you feel smarter yet profoundly uglier; and Phoebe was just Phoebe. But Ross, he is winner all around. You need a Ross Geller in your life, whether you know it or not. So I’m letting you know now. He’s got everything you need to make life more bearable and just plain entertaining. He was the kid that never grew up, the academically smartest one in the bunch, the one with the biggest heart, and the awkwardly untalented one.

Here’s a few reasons why you NEED Ross…

  1. He shops at stores you frequent.

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He can’t understand how someone would not like the Pottery Barn. I mean come on, who doesn’t like to shop there? How else will you and Ross decorate your future home together? Now that you have graduated and been thrown into the “real world,” you are going to need to start window shopping at “grown up” stores (not adult stores, no XXX). Ross would be there to help carry your new shelving units and shoes racks. And he’s not afraid to show his feministic side. Those frames so do not match the décor going on here.

 2. He’s not afraid to show his bromance for the hotties.

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Every girl who watched the show or was actually in the show, fell in love with Joey. He’s the ultimate bachelor, so why would Ross be afraid his feelings for him? It takes a real man to not be afraid to cuddle with another man! And look how content he is laying in Joey’s arms. Imagine yourself added to that pile up 😉 You know you will need such a relaxing environment after studying for hours in grad school or working full-time in the adult world.

  1. Ross is a fantastic mover.

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I mean, seriously, who wouldn’t want a guy that can coordinate moving so precisely? His directions are spot on and given all that moving you will be doing into a new apartment or at least out of your old one, you will need someone with his types of skills. New weekends: you could be pivoting with Ross!

  1. Ross can teach you helpful flirting tips.

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Now with a full-time career or full-load of graduate studies, you are losing your flirting skills. Don’t get too distraught, Ross can teach you the best moves for winning someone over. Look at that awkwardness, who couldn’t fall in love with you after two lines? You know you fell in love with Ross over this one; he even popped his leg like in Princess Diaries. That’s true love.

  1. Need to be more alert? Never fear, Ross is near with the latest skills to keep you on your toes.

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Forget ninjas, Ross is in the house! He will always pick the right place for dinner, always be able to protect you at night, always know the answers to his own questions, and never forget anything because of his keen sense of unagi. You cannot simply develop this skill easily, but Ross has mastered it. Thus, he’s the perfect boyfriend.

  1. Can’t sleep? Ross will always be there to play a sweet melody for you.

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He even creates his own music, unique and never-before-heard. What girl doesn’t desire a musician? He would dedicate a masterpiece just to you. How could you not listen to his sensual melodies? He puts real passion into his work. You will fall head-over-heels for him. Actually, probably quite literally will fall over because of the ratchet sounds coming from that poor, moaning keyboard that wishes itself it was dead.

  1. Your grammar skills have finally bloomed after 4 years of undergrad, and Ross truly understands your pet peeves.

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Who has watched Friends and hasn’t remembered this one simple grammar rule? Seeing these two words written and used incorrectly is worse than nails on a chalk board for you college folk. It’s a simple rule, yet people painstakingly get it incorrect over and over; Ross feels your pain. Really, he is pained in this scene as he impatiently screeches the difference. That’s why he’s the perfect boyfriend: “Oh baby, you had me at the proper use of ‘your’.”

  1. As look for dateable men, you realize you need to start looking for a family man.

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He is a perfect dad. What else could you ask for in a husband and father of your children than a man dressed up in a completely mismatched ensemble such as this? I mean, look at his face. He is so happy to be wearing that impossibly coordinated outfit and you can’t help but smile. Ladies, wondering what a good father will look like? No need to look further than this picture. Just don’t ask where he got all that stuff.

  1. On the note of being a great father, exhibit B.

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Need a goodnight lullaby? Out of bedtime stories? Wondering what good rhyme there is to help your child sleep? Ross has got your back. He will literally put whatever words pop in his mind into a soothing bedtime lullaby. Plus, it will always rhyme. Never question his parenting. Your kid will grow up to be a champ.

 10. He is so smart, he is dumb.

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We all need one of those people in our lives. The types that are so smart that they are actually dumb. He knows every bone in every dinosaur but can’t read the label on a condom box. Everyone who watched this show will always remember the statistic that condoms only work “like 97% of the time.” And it’s on the box.

 11. He’s a threatening kind of guy who will tell off anyone who upsets him.

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It will be a delayed response, but he will take care of those who mess with him. He is super cereal here, guys. You better hope you’re not still around after he passes. Need a man who will stick up for you? Want a guy who will take care of business? You could probably do better than this, then. But hey, you want to scare the shiznit out of people by knowing the right ghost? Keep Ross around for the afterlife so he can really take some people down!

 12. He’s an open book.

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No secrets here. He is as honest as a priest. He has no shame and doesn’t know what to keep to himself. But that’s a reason why you need him in your life. He wouldn’t go long before telling you everything. If you can hold out for, oh say 10 minutes, you will know the life of Ross. Nothing wrong in that, but TMI sometimes buddy. Knowing your failures such as these is not quite something you want to spill to the ladies. (But again, look at that face, priceless puppy face.)

 13. He’s not a pompous, macho-man.

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Worried about those kinds of guys that just excrete mass amounts of testosterone with every breath? Well no fears, Ross is not that man…by any means. He is very sensitive and quite possibly scared of heights. Scared for your future now that you have graduated? Ross is just as scared for you. Worried that your future career plans are crumbling? Ross is screaming right there with you. Panicking a little? Ross is panicking a lot for you.

And lastly,

14. He is that sweetheart you always dreamed would look at you in the kindest of ways.

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Ross has the most heart out of anyone on Friends and repeatedly proves it. Ever want a man to stare at you with that dreamy, starry gaze? Ross is most definitely your man. You know you need someone like him in your life for those tough days where the worst seems to have happened all at once. His care and love for his friends never failed throughout the entire show.

You need a Ross in your life and here are just a small number of reasons why. He’s a perfect mix of everything and lacks the right things, too. Dream on ladies and pray a Friends reunion shows up some day!!

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Judging a Book by its Cover

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Or maybe just judge a little.

 

Isn’t this what we have always been told? Don’t judge anyone too quickly, it’s rude. Shame on you.

Yet at the same time, we are told “dress to impress” because first impressions are the most important. Wouldn’t that be because someone is judging us off our appearance?

Oh the contradictions. Thank you everyone for teaching us one thing, only to enforce the complete opposite.

Let’s face it, everyone judges you off first impressions. It’s what helps us land a job, make a new friend, meet a future spouse, be generally accepted by ‘society.’

So what do we do? Do we be ourselves or be the person who will be accepted by the general public? No wonder our youth of today are in a constant battle about appearance because this is when we first start to realize that appearance matters. Peers start to judge and gossip about each other in school. They make fun of those who are different than them. Then in college we say “I don’t care what people think; I’ll wear sweatpants everyday if I want!” Then we graduate and realize we need buy business casual attire because it actually does matter how we look; no more piercings everywhere, no huge tattoos, no crazy hair, no crazy ensembles.

                                                                     — Which is where I need to throw in a little PSA. No crazy ensembles means shopping time, which means more spending of money, money that recent graduates do not have. Okay, I am done venting.– 

It is a constant battle between wanting to be liked and wanting to be independent. What should we teach as more important? There is no easy answer for this one. Always be true to yourself, even if that means wearing different clothes or having a different attitude as long as you are working toward a goal you have set for yourself. Most will find that your true goals are easy to attain without changing much about yourself because it matches your personality anyway. Do things in the name of you. Do it for yourself. Things always have a way of working out.

In regards of judging others…

Some people say judging others is a sin. But sometimes it just pops in our head. The key is to not let that initial judgment be the lasting one. Maybe your initial judgment of someone is correct but give yourself time to be wrong; I usually am.

👼

 

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