Tag Archives: funny

OMG, Add Me on LinkedIn?!

Now that we are…how shall I say…older, we are evolving in our social media standards.

First, our generation was judging incisively on MySpace. Then, luckily, Facebook entered our lives and saved some – only some – of our humanity. Instagram crept into our lives, igniting our competitiveness for the ‘coolest’ filtered photo. Snapchat made us realize how annoying people were with their incessant need to send snaps of their food. Thanks for helping my diet, jerks.

Now, LinkedIn is the new and coolest thing for us twentysomething, young adults. It is definitely the one social media account we should be using (seriously). This is a great way to stay in touch with professional connections and find new ones. You can also look for job postings and search companies on this site, which is great for you poor (literally) unfortunate souls.

Blog1But there are a few thoughts that will cross your mind as you begin this phase in your life. A lot of self-judgment will occur, and in retrospect, you’re going to have some regrets of how little you actually did with your life up until now. Sorry, but best of luck!

  1. Cool, I get to make a new profile

Oh wait…I have no real experience or past work. I look like a lazy brat now.

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  1. Oo, I can upload a profile picture

Which shall I use: the totally not-sober one from senior year shenanigans or the ratchet one of me dying from heat
stroke at a football game? Let’s face it, no one has real headshots already done…that requires money.

  1. The skills section should be easy

Wait, what kind of skills are these? Excel, Leadership, and Management? What happened to eating, sleeping, and
being frugal? (You will begin to question even the most basic skills you think you have…like spelling)

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  1. Profile is complete

This is the most boring profile of myself. I look like an eighteen-year-old, who has to repeat senior year.

  1. Finding connections

Oh I know her! Woah…she’s done that much with her life so far? Liar. Fraud. Still, she makes me look bad, so I will
not be requesting her.

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  1. Someone looked at my profile!

Wait a minute, you can see who looks at your profile? I’m suddenly regretting my stalking. Why didn’t someone tell me
first?!

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  1. What the heck are second connections?

Too much brain power is needed for this ‘social media’ site. My brain has the hurts.

  1. Can this be like a dating site, too?

Finally found a nice professional-ish photo; not one of those ‘professional’ shots that include the perfected deer-in-
the-headlights look, old-lady hair style, and shoulder-padded suit. Time to scout out the cutest connections!

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If you do not have a LinkedIn profile yet, take these points as warnings. Go out and do some stuff with your time and fill up that resume! If you already do have a LinkedIn profile, you understand what a mental struggle this point in life really is.

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xOx

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Filed under College, Graduates, Post Grad, Post Grad Life, Post Grad Problems, Twentsomethings, Undergrad

Be Single this Summer

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~ design and photo created by me ~

People think a summer fling would be the perfect story. However, staying single for the summer is better for you than having any significant other. Instead of spending half of the summer finding someone who is good enough and only being able to spend 6 weeks with them before going back to school/home/work, you should stay single and enjoy the good life. Here are 5 reasons why you should try to stay single during the fine months of May-August.

And remember to stay sassy throughout it all!

1. Freedom 

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This is not meant in a sarcastic or discouraging way. I mean freedom to decide for yourself what YOU want to do, when YOU want to do it. Relationships are compromises and giving things up at times for your significant other. And I’m not saying this is not great for people, but what I am saying is that this is the time for you to be selfish. Like the great Koyoko quote states. Be selfish and learn to love yourself.

  1. Making new friends

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Now, you can meet new people at some social gathering. And you’re ALLOWED to do it! You are single, so no one is restricting you from interacting with the opposite sex. You can mingle, flirt, have fun and meet new people. It is a great thing, really. You do not have to feel guilty by any means. Plus, the summer has way more social events and the atmosphere is so free. It is a great time to be single.

  1. Traveling

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Travel to visit friends without having to accommodate anyone else. Now is the time to travel without any strings attached. Go for days or weeks or a month. You do not have anyone calling you back! Cross things off of YOUR bucket list. You will not need to travel to a random city in the middle of nowhere to meet more family member of your SO’s. Travel to the coast of your interest!

  1. Work on bettering YOU

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Summer time is the personal-renovation months. There is plenty of time to re-adjust your eating habits, start exercising and taking care of yourself, start a new hobby, finish a project, or whatever it is you need to do to find out who you are. You need time to focus on yourself and learn what you really love.

 

  1. Showing yourself you can be independent

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Many times people go from relationship to relationship, but the summer is a great time to step back and force yourself to be on your own. You learn who you are and what you are capable of. Living on your own and living with just yourself is a great lesson in life. Take the time to be selfish and do whatever you feel like!

And just walk by couples and give this face to them: it’s so refreshing!

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Phases of Post-College Life

There are many phases of life after graduation. You’re completely normal for going through all of these. Don’t be afraid… just be a tad concerned.

1. The Hopeful Phase — “I have a chance! I’ll get my dream job and be able to travel finally!”

This first phase has tricked us all. Got me, too. It’s hard not to be positive when every university/college encourages you to chase your dreams. You know what I have to say? Thanks. For. Nothing.

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2. The Graduation Day Phase — “Wait, it’s over already? No, no, no, no, no I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Now the idea of not having a clear future hits close to home. As you sit there with your beautifully stiff cap and gown on, you think about how you are about to be released into the world. How many of us were actually ready for that one? (Those going back to school don’t count. You don’t need to worry about your job…yet…you’ll be next, though, darlings.) You start to panic and beg to be let back into the university to maybe get a second or third degree. Please?

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3.  The Beginning of this “Career Search” Phase — “I’m going to look for my dream job. I have a college degree so I’ll be ahead of most people out there.”

Graduation-Day-Depression is over, and you are determined to stay positive and find your career job. People all seem to have jobs around you, so how hard can it be? The naive determination keeps you going. Hold onto this last childish-hope that you have. This phase will probably either last a few days before the next phase starts up or it will never end for you. Stay strong, my friends!

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4. The REAL Job Hunt Begins Phase — “I’m just going to add every little useless detail of my accomplishments to my resume. That should definitely get me the job. What’s a little embellishment?”

You start getting a little desperate now. Don’t worry, it’s natural. A little embellishment isn’t a lie exactly and is not always illegal. It will only get you in trouble when your future employer is smarter than you…and chances are they will always be. But that never stops people! Keep chasing that laser.

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5.  The Realization Sinks In Phase — “Yeah, I’m screwed.”

Realization that there may be no hope for you. Beware, this is a pretty low phase. Some may even become zombie-like, and if you come across people like this stay far far away.

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6. The Cynical Phase — “Why did I even go to college? Why did I spend thousands on tuition for no hope of a future?”

People start being very cynical around you…or maybe you’re making everything seem cynical because of your state of mood. I mean how useless can you get? A crisp, white piece of card-stock engraved with gold writing with your name in the largest font…maybe it could be a giant name tag to mark my territory? I told you Phase 5 was real rough; it even bleeds into this phase. The only difference: people start reminding you how screwed you are.

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7. The Bottom-of-the-Barrel Phase — “I think I’ve officially hit rock-bottom.”

This is when you succumb to all those feelings of inadequacy and apply to any and every business you pass on the street. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; everyone has had a job like this. If anything, it just means that you’ll never give up and keep pushing through the tough times! Also, just beg employers to make up jobs so you can be employed: “I’ll be the window-washer for your three small windows.”

Although this classic joke never gets old…unless it’s you, then it’s very very old.

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8. The Completely Hating This Adult Life Thing Phase — “I’m worth more than this!”

SO you finally get a job and you make close to nothing. So half the battle has been conquered, I’ve gotten a job (whether your career one or a temporary one), and I’m still poor. Working doesn’t just equate to money, instead it equates to time spent getting just enough to pay taxes and eat Ramen noodles. Mmm I can just taste that sodium now.

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9.  The Poor Person Phase (everlasting?) — “So what do I want to do this Friday night? Let me hunt for change under the couch first.”

It’s definitely time to reevaluate the financial situation. This phase may last forever, but just remember you’ll make it through. Shoot, if you’ve made it to Phase 9, then you’re golden! Look how much you went through already. Be strong and proud of that accomplishment. I like to think things are just getting more expensive.

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10. The Can-Things-Get-Any-Worse Phase — “Now everything is a just joke to me. Haha…ha…h…”

This is when you start to analyze and compare every aspect of your life. Stay sarcastic, my friends. It’s all we may have left by this phase.

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And remember, you have an army of new graduates being funneled through this Phase System ahead of you and behind you. Just think how many more phases there will be for those graduating after you! Consider yourself lucky in that sense. And consider yourself lucky to have gotten an education because some people weren’t able to be like you. Stay strong and good luck!

P.S. – I’m at Phase 4 FYI.

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