Tag Archives: holiday humor

V-Day, or AKA Victory Day

Image result for victory meme

It’s that time of year again! The time for flowers, chocolate, fancy dinners, and heart shaped everything from cookies to pillows to toilet paper sheets. Instead of complaining about it or calling it SAD-day, let’s call it the name it deserves…Victory Day.

We’re victors! We have stayed single for another WHOLE year! We did it, despite all odds: we remained companion-free.

February 14 is a day to celebrate our singleness. Our day to celebrate independence and individuality. Our day to celebrate our ability to not give in to societal standards of being coupled off.

How to Celebrate Victory Day:

 

1. Turn that frown upside down… into smirks

 

2. Catch those tears and water the flowers planted in the ashes of your ex’s stuff

 

3. Throw away the pity-chocolates and order yourself a damn cake to congratulate yourself

 

4. Take those heart shaped candies and crush them as party favors for V-Day

 

5. Don’t cancel that dinner reservation, find the sexiest dress you have, and grab your bestie

 

6. Don’t run from the color red, instead paint your face for battle

 

Forever Alone on valentines day

 

Embrace the holiday with open arms and a heart full of sass. It will make it so much better while all those fake couples showcase their love as publicly as they can.

 

xOx

 

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Phases of Thanksgiving-Prep

We all know what this time of year means: time to get FAT. We aren’t even shameful about it. We know it’s coming, and we have totally accepted it. As we approach the last week until doomsday, we have to mentally, physically, and emotionally prepare ourselves for Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Phase One: Stretching

….because we all know that eating such massive amounts of food requires agile bodies.

The Big Bang Theory .... toe touch. This is one of my favorite episodes. I even used it for class!!!!:

 

Phase Two: Practice the Stare Down

…because grandma doesn’t stand a chance, and you will get that last scoop of stuffing.

Funny, lol:

 

 

Phase Three: Mind Games

….because like they always say “mind over matter” and you can’t gain weight if your mind isn’t in it.

thanksgiving meme 020 oh look pie:

 

Phase Four: House Prep

…because all the mirrors need to be covered and scales tucked far, far away.

Image result for set scale back

 

Phase Five: Social Media Cleanse

…because we need to post all our skinny photos now and just hide from Instagram and Facebook for the next couple weeks after gorging on turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and miscellaneous carbs.

Related image

 

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