Tag Archives: laughs

GOP Debate Round 3

Have you stopped choking on your food yet?

This debate makes eating really hard. It also makes for a night involving a lot of “do you need some ice for that burn” moments and that little fire emoji. #ohsnap

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Adversarial doesn’t even begin to characterize this debate. Buckle up! It’s a loud ride tonight.

1. First of all, how about that answer Ted Cruz gave about the debt ceiling? How insightful and knowledgeable! I learned so much about his hate for the media, so of course I have to vote for him to handle our country’s financials!

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2. Then, we learned how Jeb and Marco really don’t have a bromance going on. Bush thinks Rubio needs to step up or step down (also the next Step Up movie subtitle) #haters

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3. I just can’t look at Trump without seeing an emoji. At least he’s a great spokesman for why to not do Botox; I’ve never seen eyebrows shot so far up someone’s forehead before.

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Donald Trump arrives to his Comedy Central Roast in New York, Wednesday, March 9, 2011. (AP Photo/Charles Sykes)

Donald Trump arrives to his Comedy Central Roast in New York, Wednesday, March 9, 2011. (AP Photo/Charles Sykes)

4. The Republican candidates LOVE the media. I mean, wow. The love is real and real deep. Cruz spent so much time talking about his hate for the media that even the media started hating themselves….. for letting him talk at all….

5. Trump doesn’t lie. All the articles that have ever been written about him are wrong. “I don’t know who’s doing the fact-checking here” said Trump….no one can figure out what side of an argument you’re going to take next, sir.

6. Wait, Mike Huckabee is still in this race? Hmm…okay.

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7. The fight for time to speak by candidates is like when children fight for the swings at recess. “It’s MY TURN!”

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8. The candidates are keeping such close tabs on each others’ time to speak that when it’s their turn to talk they forget what they stand for. They actually forget to talk about anything except how they didn’t get enough time. The last guy who complained about that didn’t have the best ending….Mr. Webb #LostTribute

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9. WAIT, CHRIS CHRISTIE IS STILL HERE? He just started talking….and it’s been an hour into the debate. I just choked (again) when his slight lisp piped up. Welcome to the debate!

10. You know who Huckabee is voting for! (Hint: It’s the orange candidate with a permanent wind-blown face)

11. Christie doesn’t like Fantasy Football talk….he just lost the votes of all males from the age 25 – 45 #sorrynotsorry

Cheers to our future!

xOx

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Breakdown of the Democratic Debate

The good ‘ole Donkey Debate. Bring on the blue!

Let’s just begin by saying this debate started off a bit slower than the Republican debate. However, these candidates are collectively about 450 years old, you need to remember. With that, it just means some good old fashion bickering is expected!

Bernie forgetting where he was in his sentence while simultaneously yelling his strong beliefs. Hillary staying sassy and not backing down from a good verbal fight (on guard!). O’Malley trying to prove he deserves to be there. Webb may be in the wrong place. And whoever that last guy is needs some love and attention, too.

First of all, WHERE IS JOE BIDEN…….

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“Uhhhh…I was supposed to be where?”

Second, Lincoln Chafee looks like a kid who just got told Santa really does exist.

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 30: Lincoln Chafee visits FOX Business Network at FOX Studios on September 30, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 582326837 ORIG FILE ID: 490713554

Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 582326837 ORIG FILE ID: 490713554

“Yay I’m so happy to be here! What did I sign up for, again?”

Third, Jim Webb is only there because CNN realized they needed someone to fill the empty podium left for Biden

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“I’d like a turn to speak please…..” [an hour into the debate]

Fourth, Hillary Clinton has got her sass out and wearing it proudly.

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“Do you have a comment [about the Benghazi emails], Mrs. Clinton?”   “No.”

Fifth, Bernie reminds me of being yelled at by my grandpa. I feel like I really have to agree with him; just nod yes!

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“FREE TUITION COLLEGES!” “MIDDLE CLASS TAKEOVERS” – Sir, yes sir! #fistpump

Lastly, Martin O’Malley……I do deserve to be here.

Martin O'Malley, former governor of Maryland and 2016 Democratic presidential candidate, speaks at the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute conference in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Wednesday, Oct. 7, 2015. While next Tuesday's first Democratic presidential debate will probably lack the name-calling and sharp jabs of the Republican face-offs, there's still potential for strong disagreements between the party's leading contenders. Photographer: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Photographer: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images

“Please remember my name. Also, I want to fight Hillary a little”

Oh, there are other moderators than just Anderson Cooper?

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No.

xOx

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Filed under debate, democratic debate, democratic debate 2015, democrats, politics

10 Stages of a Commuter’s Life

Unless you drive a substantial amount of time per day to work or class, you don’t understand true pain. So many feels occur during your drive. You live a lifetime during that trip. You laugh a little, you cry, you become hopeful, you get angry, you die a little, and a few other feels jump in there on you, too.

Be ready for some truth right here. It’s about to hit real hard.

HOPEFUL: The start of the drive always looks promising

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SMALL FLINCH: Then you hit your first red light

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http://www.you-can-be-funny.com/FunnyRoadSigns.html

NERVOUS: You start singing to distract yourself

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ANXIETY: Rush hour traffic hits real hard and cars are everywhere

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ANGER: You suddenly stop moving whatsoever

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FUMING: You realize you do this everyday and hate yourself for it

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SADNESS: You just want this drive to be over

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NOTHINGNESS: You are so over everything that you now have zero emotions

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PROUD: You have enlightening moments where you

solve all the problems of the world and, most importantly, your life

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TIRED: You have a parking spot and only realize your day has just begun

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Told you it would be a rough ride.

—-

xOx

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7 Thoughts Starting a New Job

Now that you have graduated, starting a new job is a lot harder than you think. Some of us have to work jobs made for high schoolers, in fact some of your supervisors could be younger than you. Some of us have to work meaningless jobs at the lowest level possible. Some of us will get jobs that put us way in over our head. Others will have jobs that make us question our entire life so far. However, there are 7 thoughts that will go through your head when you start this new job after undergrad. Whatever the level of the work, intern or career, you will have these thoughts and probably some of these facial expressions, too.

First, it may not be the prettiest job in the world, but it will pay the bills…kind of.

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Second, you will forget what it is like to have major responsibilities

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Third, you will be so over the cliques already in place at your workplace. 

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Fourth, you will realize you don’t care to make new friends.

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Fifth, you will realize no amount of money is enough for you at this point.

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Sixth, the drive to work will be really dreadful and no music can help. 

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Seventh, you will be so jealous of the young, hopeful interns and realize how uncool you are now.

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Filed under GIFs, Graduates, Humor, Jobs, Post Grad, Twentysomethings, Work Life

Iowa State Fair Shenanigans 2015

The Iowa State Fair: full of happy kids, smiling faces, fun fair rides, and of course, presidential hopefuls. Apparently this is a presidential must-do. It is the last bit of fun the politicians can have before they need to get down and dirty. Here are a few of the best photos from Getty Images’ coverage of the fair. Iowa is huge for candidates, since it is where the first caucuses occur. It is a big win for any candidate and this has been proven true in the past. This is a big state, with big wins, and big food.

So, if you are not too educated on the beautiful collection of people hoping to run our country, here is a casual sneak peek. Grab those turkey legs and funnel cakes, sit back, and be ready to laugh. And not in the good way, laugh in fear of our future.

Ben Carson is so giddy; he’s like a lactose intolerant kid sneaking that prized slice of pizza before his mom finds out. Good news is that Mr. Carson does not use a fork and knife for his pizza. Look at that poor guy behind Benny-boy, biting his fingers and drooling over just a corner of that slice of cheesy deliciousness.

 Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Bernie Sanders, here. He is totally ignoring the food and rides and deciding to just sweat it out. Maybe he is trying to fit in with the cool-kids and show off his no-fear toward working out. Maybe it is to prove that he can sweat out any filibuster on Congress’ floor or sweat out any debate. I sure hope that is water in the cup he is drinking from and not some of that Kool-Aid the kids drink these days.

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Donald Trump just does not even care about the fact that he is at a fair. Full suit and a baseball cap is his casual wear. Throwing up the peace sign for all his young fans out there, like he’s posing for his own Instagram photo. Peace to everyone, including women…except those who are “fat pigs”, no peace for you (Trump quote).

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Hillary Clinton is the mother of the candidates, who cannot believe she is about to break her diet for this pork chop. “Smile and act like you’re having fun, Hillary, but OH MY GOD this is 1000 calories” *awkward laugh*. Poor Mrs. Clinton, all she wants is some voters’ love and not get bigger hips. #femalecandidateprobz

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Jeb Bush chowing down so sternly just so the American people can see how serious his campaign is going to be. No jokes here. No silly business. Just me and this good ‘ole pork chop thing. “This is how I’ll eat, as your next president, America. Serious, dry, and lacking emotion. Just how you like your politics.”

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

And meet this gentleman, the next candidate running for president. Points for the casual-wear and variety in food-choice.

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(photo from Getty Images)

And that’s all, folks.

xOx

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Be Single this Summer

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~ design and photo created by me ~

People think a summer fling would be the perfect story. However, staying single for the summer is better for you than having any significant other. Instead of spending half of the summer finding someone who is good enough and only being able to spend 6 weeks with them before going back to school/home/work, you should stay single and enjoy the good life. Here are 5 reasons why you should try to stay single during the fine months of May-August.

And remember to stay sassy throughout it all!

1. Freedom 

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This is not meant in a sarcastic or discouraging way. I mean freedom to decide for yourself what YOU want to do, when YOU want to do it. Relationships are compromises and giving things up at times for your significant other. And I’m not saying this is not great for people, but what I am saying is that this is the time for you to be selfish. Like the great Koyoko quote states. Be selfish and learn to love yourself.

  1. Making new friends

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Now, you can meet new people at some social gathering. And you’re ALLOWED to do it! You are single, so no one is restricting you from interacting with the opposite sex. You can mingle, flirt, have fun and meet new people. It is a great thing, really. You do not have to feel guilty by any means. Plus, the summer has way more social events and the atmosphere is so free. It is a great time to be single.

  1. Traveling

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Travel to visit friends without having to accommodate anyone else. Now is the time to travel without any strings attached. Go for days or weeks or a month. You do not have anyone calling you back! Cross things off of YOUR bucket list. You will not need to travel to a random city in the middle of nowhere to meet more family member of your SO’s. Travel to the coast of your interest!

  1. Work on bettering YOU

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Summer time is the personal-renovation months. There is plenty of time to re-adjust your eating habits, start exercising and taking care of yourself, start a new hobby, finish a project, or whatever it is you need to do to find out who you are. You need time to focus on yourself and learn what you really love.

 

  1. Showing yourself you can be independent

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Many times people go from relationship to relationship, but the summer is a great time to step back and force yourself to be on your own. You learn who you are and what you are capable of. Living on your own and living with just yourself is a great lesson in life. Take the time to be selfish and do whatever you feel like!

And just walk by couples and give this face to them: it’s so refreshing!

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Phases of Post-College Life

There are many phases of life after graduation. You’re completely normal for going through all of these. Don’t be afraid… just be a tad concerned.

1. The Hopeful Phase — “I have a chance! I’ll get my dream job and be able to travel finally!”

This first phase has tricked us all. Got me, too. It’s hard not to be positive when every university/college encourages you to chase your dreams. You know what I have to say? Thanks. For. Nothing.

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2. The Graduation Day Phase — “Wait, it’s over already? No, no, no, no, no I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Now the idea of not having a clear future hits close to home. As you sit there with your beautifully stiff cap and gown on, you think about how you are about to be released into the world. How many of us were actually ready for that one? (Those going back to school don’t count. You don’t need to worry about your job…yet…you’ll be next, though, darlings.) You start to panic and beg to be let back into the university to maybe get a second or third degree. Please?

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3.  The Beginning of this “Career Search” Phase — “I’m going to look for my dream job. I have a college degree so I’ll be ahead of most people out there.”

Graduation-Day-Depression is over, and you are determined to stay positive and find your career job. People all seem to have jobs around you, so how hard can it be? The naive determination keeps you going. Hold onto this last childish-hope that you have. This phase will probably either last a few days before the next phase starts up or it will never end for you. Stay strong, my friends!

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4. The REAL Job Hunt Begins Phase — “I’m just going to add every little useless detail of my accomplishments to my resume. That should definitely get me the job. What’s a little embellishment?”

You start getting a little desperate now. Don’t worry, it’s natural. A little embellishment isn’t a lie exactly and is not always illegal. It will only get you in trouble when your future employer is smarter than you…and chances are they will always be. But that never stops people! Keep chasing that laser.

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5.  The Realization Sinks In Phase — “Yeah, I’m screwed.”

Realization that there may be no hope for you. Beware, this is a pretty low phase. Some may even become zombie-like, and if you come across people like this stay far far away.

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6. The Cynical Phase — “Why did I even go to college? Why did I spend thousands on tuition for no hope of a future?”

People start being very cynical around you…or maybe you’re making everything seem cynical because of your state of mood. I mean how useless can you get? A crisp, white piece of card-stock engraved with gold writing with your name in the largest font…maybe it could be a giant name tag to mark my territory? I told you Phase 5 was real rough; it even bleeds into this phase. The only difference: people start reminding you how screwed you are.

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7. The Bottom-of-the-Barrel Phase — “I think I’ve officially hit rock-bottom.”

This is when you succumb to all those feelings of inadequacy and apply to any and every business you pass on the street. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; everyone has had a job like this. If anything, it just means that you’ll never give up and keep pushing through the tough times! Also, just beg employers to make up jobs so you can be employed: “I’ll be the window-washer for your three small windows.”

Although this classic joke never gets old…unless it’s you, then it’s very very old.

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8. The Completely Hating This Adult Life Thing Phase — “I’m worth more than this!”

SO you finally get a job and you make close to nothing. So half the battle has been conquered, I’ve gotten a job (whether your career one or a temporary one), and I’m still poor. Working doesn’t just equate to money, instead it equates to time spent getting just enough to pay taxes and eat Ramen noodles. Mmm I can just taste that sodium now.

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9.  The Poor Person Phase (everlasting?) — “So what do I want to do this Friday night? Let me hunt for change under the couch first.”

It’s definitely time to reevaluate the financial situation. This phase may last forever, but just remember you’ll make it through. Shoot, if you’ve made it to Phase 9, then you’re golden! Look how much you went through already. Be strong and proud of that accomplishment. I like to think things are just getting more expensive.

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10. The Can-Things-Get-Any-Worse Phase — “Now everything is a just joke to me. Haha…ha…h…”

This is when you start to analyze and compare every aspect of your life. Stay sarcastic, my friends. It’s all we may have left by this phase.

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And remember, you have an army of new graduates being funneled through this Phase System ahead of you and behind you. Just think how many more phases there will be for those graduating after you! Consider yourself lucky in that sense. And consider yourself lucky to have gotten an education because some people weren’t able to be like you. Stay strong and good luck!

P.S. – I’m at Phase 4 FYI.

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