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Types of: Drivers

Driving can be fun, but more than likely, it will be stressful and make you a mentally aggressive person. There will be many eye rolls, many fingers in the air, and many heart attacks. It’s just a fact of life when it comes to having your driver’s license. What  kind of driver are you?

1. The Hail-Mary-er

This driver is sporadic. Out of nowhere they change lanes, or take a right-hand turn from the left lane. They may even disregard the light and go on red when the turn light is green. And “oops” may not even be said. Also, if you are in the car with this type of driver, you will probably hear the GPS saying “Make A U-Turn” over and over.

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2. The Taxi Cab

This driver changes lanes to pass every car in front of him or her. All it does is make more work for the driver and he/she only really gets a few paces in front of you. Not even an ambulance, which has the absolute right to, drives this rudely. This driver’s car is either an expensive sports car or a 1990s model with no hubcaps.

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3. The Matrix

This person drives at the speed of those bullets in The Matrix, literally a snail can pass you up. You can actually get a ticket for going slow, you know that right? Also, the speed limit is sort of a guideline of the proper speed on that road. Going ten under will get you in an accident (probably caused by The Taxi Cab driver).

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4. The Grandparent

This driver is used to a horse-and-buggy, not a car. You must be patient…but also loud. It is totally okay to lay on your horn for this person, mostly because they won’t even know you are there otherwise. The grandparent stops a mile behind the car in front of them at a red light, leans so far over the steering wheel to see that they move the car with their collarbone, and drives a boat, essentially.

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5. The Soul-Crusher

This person literally does ONE thing that every one and their mother hates: parks over the line. I COULD HAVE FIT.

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6. The Panicker

This driver brakes wayyyyyyy far back from the red light and then slowly comes to a stop that has taken them five minutes. When cars in the lane next to them look suspicious, they tap that brake faster than Taylor Swift tapped Tom Hiddleston after Calvin Harris.

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Until Next Time

xOx

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A World with Prez Trump

Can you imagine a world with a president that has a some orange thing living on its head? What could our country look like? Here is a possible small glimpse…

 

1. Equal rights will have taken twenty steps backward

I mean women have periods, so we should definitely be treated differently. And allowing KKK members to be at your rallies definitely isn’t disgusting. A nation with Trump as our Commander in Chief will be one of great tension. It would be a time of recessive not progressive movements. Forget equal pay for women. That is a visionary idea of the past, and it is over now. Bye bye.

 

2. [minor] Violence will be socially accepted

Someone flips you the bird anywhere and you have the right to punch them out cold, apparently. It is totally fine to verbalize your desire to have someone leave the room in the stretcher.  It is also acceptable to make fun of people with disabilities. Basically, no morals is the new norm.
3. What is “of the people, by the people, for the people”? 

This presidency is the first of its kind: public good is not part of his agenda. He’s a businessman, not a politician. He does not work for the lower-socioeconomic-status citizens. Lower to middle class citizens will be left in the dust. He has no sense of doing “good” for others. New laws will be catered toward the already fortunate. It will be like “Divergent” with the middle and lower class being Abnegation and Trump and his followers will think they are Erudite…

 

4. Ten economic recessions and four economic depressions later…

He has been bankrupt how many times in his career? And, we want him in charge of our nation’s economy….it makes sense if you don’t think about it. The 2003 recession was bad…but imagine in a few years after president Trump in charge….our economy would be worse than Greece’s. Our economy is already starting to panic: people threatening to move, trade with our neighbors will be cut off from the giant wall, and we will all be bankrupt.

 

5. We will have few allies and little respect, as a country 

Trump literally talks down about anyone in his radar. How could he ever maintain international relations?  He won’t. So, basically traveling to any country will result in us hanging our heads and staying silent…or learning to fake an awesome accent.

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6. America will be as divided as it was in the 1860s 

The Republican party is already split because of this man, and just imagine the stressful divides if he becomes president. The KKK think it is gaining popularity again since Trump has not publicly denied connections to them (or a member of theirs). People are violently protesting at political rallies, which are supposed to be more of a peaceful grassroots speech. The partisan divide will be even greater. What comes from so many cracks and fissures?  Earthquakes.

 

xOx

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6 Thoughts During the GOP Debate

As I sit here watching the GOP debate on CNN, I’ve had a few thoughts pop into my mind.

One, is this really what debates have come down to? Terrible jokes about California’s drought and people’s faces? I watch SNL for the good versions of those jokes.

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Second, please STOP telling us everything you’ve “done for your state”. I DON’T CARE.

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Third, I’m so distracted by the plane in the background. I want it in my living room.

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Fourth, interrupting is one of my biggest pet-peeves, like, EVER.

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Fifth, I wonder where Jake Tapper got his tan from? Looks expensive.

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Sixth, I’m no mind-reader, but I’m 99% sure that 100% of these candidates are lying about something…

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xOx

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