Tag Archives: patience

I’m Done With: Driving (in FL)

Florida’s driving experience in one sentence:  Driving across a bridge for days next to a million-year-old person from ‘up North’ and running over construction cones. Welcome to the Sunshine state.

One, OLD PEOPLE.

Not only do they drive slowly, but they drive erratically. But that’s probably because they are sitting so far up in their seat that their forehead touches the windshield. One cannot properly drive if his or her chest is caved into the steering wheel. Also, old people are so short that you never know if someone is actually in the driver’s seat or not….”Maybe it’s one of those new driver-less cars!……oh no, just a hundred-year-old man again.” #disappointed

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Second, SNOWBIRDS

What’s worse than old people all over the roadways? Snowbirds. They are old people from out of town, which means they cannot drive by default plus have an out-of-town handicap. let me define snowbirds for you: people who want to escape the cold but clog up our roads and create severe rage among Floridians. When the sign says 45MPH, it means 50MPH is the socially acceptable speed, 45MPH is the you-must-have-just-gotten-a-ticket speed, 40MPH is you’re-testing-my-patience-speed and anything else means you need to get off of the road right this second. Snowbirds always go 10MPH under the limit. Plus their sense of proper driving must completely escape their brain once they depart from their home state. Stopping traffic so you can move over 4 lanes for a right turn coming up in 2 miles IS NOT OKAY.

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Third, CONSTRUCTION

It never ends. Probably because our state never ends. But still, once you think you’ve made it to a clearing in traffic, WHAM. It is all a cruel game the government plays with you. One moment you are cruising, peacefully above the speed limit, and then within seconds you have to completely stop and merge three lanes into one. And people wonder why one of Florida’s cities is at the top of the country’s road rage list (cough, cough Miami).

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Fourth, WEATHER

Honestly, cars in Florida should be half boats. See when it rains, it pours. Flooding is a given between the months of June and September. But Floridians don’t stop for rain, hail, hurricanes, or anything. We’ve been through it all and nothing phases us. But what it does phase is our cars. You’d think we would learn that we stall out when the rain is up to the top of our windshields, but nope. Every time there is a wave of rain, there are a bunch of cars making their final trip to the junk yard. RIP grandma’s Lincoln Town car.

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Lastly, BRIDGES

Florida has many long bridges because nothing is connected here. We have bodies of water everywhere, so it is nothing new to be crossing a bridge for over 15 minutes. Literally, you take a bridge from some places just to get to a grocery store or a gas station. Those warnings to check your gas tank levels are all too real. Who even remembers they need gas for their car? Well, you remember when you’re on a bridge for more than 10 miles.

 

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So if you plan to visit Florida, be prepared to test your driving limits. And if you live in Florida, I’m so sorry for having no patience left anymore.

– God speed and good luck –

xOx

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Humor, meme, social life, Twentsomethings, Uncategorized

Single and…..

Loving it? Ready to mingle? Depressed?

Whichever one of these ends that sentence for you, make sure it’s not the sadder version. Being in your twenties, many of my friends are getting engaged or even (*gasp*) have already gotten married. And here I am, lonely ‘ole me… and you. You remember that movie 27 Dresses? Well, I’m already at 2 and 1/2 (bridesmaid twice and invited to a third wedding). Although if I had 27 friends who would want me to be their bridesmaid, I’d be so proud that I may not ever worry about having my own wedding. You have to pay them all back and have 27 bridesmaids. What a pain that would be.

But seriously, I know you’re comparing yourself to all your friends who have a rock on their finger. I have sure have, but it’s not the road you want to go down. See I’ve thought about this long and hard. Here are my reasons:

1. You’re free to what you want when you want (you don’t need to fight with anyone on your plan for the weekend)

2. You can always eat what you want to eat for dinner (no compromises on TV dinners when you want Mexican food and he/she wants Chinese food)

3. You’ve been non-married/non-engaged for twenty-ish years, don’t panic because you have like 60 more years to be with a significant other. Stop being dramatic.

4.You have time to work on other relationships/friendships

5. Traveling with friends is just as fun as traveling with your significant other. So get out there and do something fun!

If you’ve just gotten out of a long relationship: “Don’t look back, you’re not going that direction anyway.”  I know it’s tough but you’re part of a great club of singles now, filled with potential and opportunities! You’re allowed to cry for a few days but don’t go crazy because that’s just a waste of life.

Don’t worry about your friends who are pairing up and leaving you as the awkward third wheel. They will be with the same person forever (or a long time) whereas you can explore and be experimental in dating. You can learn from your friends’ relationship mistakes so your future relationship will go smoothly. Be observant. Learn what you want in your significant other.

Also, if you push for a relationship, you will end up forcing something that is not meant to be. I know of people who are using certain apps and other ways of trying to meet people, but it’s in a desperate way. Please don’t do this or else you may end up regretting it. I’m a firm believer in things happening when they are supposed to happen. Do NOT lower your standards. This is one mistake that could be life-changing (and not in the good way). Stay strong and stubborn!

I do want my significant other for long romantic walks on the beach and picnics in the park, blah blah blah. But I know it’s not the time, so I’m waiting for the great guy to come along.

P.S. — Hey Prince Charming, get GPS and find your way to me a little quicker please.

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