Tag Archives: shark week

Shark Bait Hoo Ha Ha

In case you were not aware, Shark Week 2016 is already halfway over. Only 4 more nights of terrifying yet captivating television until Scandal comes back in the fall.

Here are some mid-week facts to fuel your shark interest:


  1. Sharks mature very slowly

A whopping 12-15 years actually, which may be quick to humankind (especially for males…), but it is pretty delayed compared to other animals.


  1. Tiger Shark embryos eat one another in the womb

And then it starts eating the unfertilized eggs in its mother. Talk about tough sibling competition.



  1. If you are being chased by a shark, pray it’s a Whale Shark

Sounds horrible, whale + shark = gianormous; but, these big guys swim away from humans. They do not have time to chase dummies like us.




  1. Not a Whale Shark after you? Then, next hope for a Greenland Shark.

It’s rare to find this shark since it lives in freezing waters, BUT it is the slowest moving “fish” ever recorded. So there’s that.



  1. It estimated that 270,000 sharks are killed daily

One article found this number through conservation organizations’ research. It may seem good news to us, but it is very bad for shark populations and survival.



  1. They can’t be bony

That is because they do not have bones. Sharks are just giant blobs of cartilage.



  1. Respect your elders

Sharks were around before dinosaurs, so I would say it’s smart to just steer clear and let them do their thang.



  1. Rough bedroom role playing

Female sharks have tougher/thicker skin because males tend to bite while mating.


“You went too far this time, Jim.”


  1. Keep sharks in the wild

Captive female sharks can reproduce without a male’s assistance… yes, cloning. What’s scarier than a shark? A cloning shark.



  1. Out of balance

Multiple species of sharks and rays are near endangerment, which can severely impact the balance of life under the sea. Head to WWF to learn more.




 Want more random, fun facts to out-smart your coworkers and friends?

Check more out here.

#SharkWeek #SharkWeek2016





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Rawr. It’s Shark Week.


Well, folks, it is that time of year where everyone in their right mind becomes un-right. People’s minds get infested…like the oceans apparently…with sharks. This next week is one where people are so obsessed with teeth, Jaws, bites, and blood that this deserves its own holiday spot on calendars.

Even our pets are suffering from our sporadic infatuation of the bone-crunching monsters of the sea. If your cat or dog could speak to you, they wouldn’t…they would just slap you.

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What you could witness this week:

First, some of the clothing options become…special.

Some of the things people wear this week are “People of Walmart” level. You will start to see shark shirts and tanks everywhere for the next few days. It’s a yearly craze that cannot be stopped. You may as well stock up now for the rest of your life. However, sometimes the line between clothing and costumes gets blurred. If ‘normal’ clothes aren’t enough for you to show off your recently acclaimed fascination of sharks, try a costume. People dress up like it is Halloween, and yet no one questions is. It just proves you are extremely dedicated, like these here fine gentleman.

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What an odd placement of that shark tail on that costume…

Next comes shark-themed munchies at your neighborhood Shark-Week-party. These snacks go above and beyond in making you lose your appetite. Ah, the site of blood really makes me hungry. Thanks for now ruining food for me, Discovery Channel.

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I can no longer eat watermelon without a little gag first.

Then come all of the facts that completely reverse the idea of shark week. See, by making a 7-day event on just sharks, it would seem that the oceans are crowded with them and shark attacks happen on the daily. Then, you find out that none of this is actually true. Thus, the entire premise of this week is reversed. We are simultaneously becoming terrified yet calmed. Thanks for the emotional confusion, Discovery Channel!


So turn on the TV and start your week. We all get sucked into this non-official holiday. It’s time to re-live your childhood fears of going into the water at the beach. It’s time to have Jaws nightmares again. It’s time to watch TV in a cold sweat.

It’s officially Shark Week!


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