Tag Archives: single life

Expectation vs. RL: Single Adulting

We have all been (or still are) that single friend. You know how people say that each day brings new surprises? Well for the single adults, those new surprises consist of who is engaged or pregnant.

 

Friday Nights

Expectation: Girls night!

Reality: Girls Plus Ones night!

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Social Media Stalking

Expectation: Everyone is worse off than you and are horrible at life… ha ha

Reality: Diamond rings galore

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Waking Up Every Morning

Expectation: Arms wrapped around a sexy companion

Reality: Retainer wrapped around your hair

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Party Invites

Expectation: Someone’s birthday on a yacht or in a rented out bar

Reality: the two BS’s: bridal shower or baby shower

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Bar Scene

Expectation: Lots of attractive people milling around, sipping their cocktails and charming it up

Reality: Lots of couples clinging to each other

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Reunions with High School Friends

Expectation: Laughing about all the stupid things you did together and gossip about old classmates

Reality: You go through a list of everyone who got engaged in the last couple months or who now has a billion kids…gross

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Holidays

Expectation: Party after party with spiked eggnog after spiked eggnog and ugly sweaters that are actually sexy sweaters

Reality: Dodging questions from your relatives about your [lack of] love life

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Mouse, Spouse, Whatever Challenge

I was challenged by popular demand (so, no one) to post pictures of my spouse, I mean cat, for seven days to promote love and fur balls.

Instead of seven days, here are seven pictures because ain’t nobody got time for that.

And honestly, this challenge is basically a way to re-post your most flattering photos with a significant other and nothing else.

 

Day 1: We share a hatred of selfies

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Day 2: We both love to lay around and dream of food

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Day 3: Speaking of food, we both don’t share well

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Day 4: We both incessantly judge people

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Day 5: We both hate having to dress up for holiday parties

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Day 6: We liked to pretend we workout a lot but secretly just lay on the mats at the gym texting

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Day 7: We accept that we are stuck being single, I mean together, forever

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Happy #internationalcatday and #spousechallenge everyone 😉

REMEMBER: ADOPT FUR BABIES

SAVE A LIFE DON’T BREED A LIFE

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Why I actually need a boyfriend 

It is almost Valentine’s Day everyone, and we all know what that means: a day of constant reminders that we are in fact still single. Looking at all of the cute couples posting photos of their nice dinners out, flowers, champagne glasses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, etc., I actually only think of the practical reasons I would need a significant other. 

I mean I can buy myself a whole bottle of champagne. My mom gets me chocolates. And my dad can send me flowers….if I ask him….and then remind him again….and then again. But still, I don’t need a man for all of that. 

I don’t need a guy for anything romantic. 

Not to tell me I’m beautiful because I am…on the inside. 

Not to hold my hand because I tend to not see cracks in the sidewalk and don’t need to take both of us down. 

Not to buy me chocolates because those are always on my weekly grocery list. 

Not to watch movies with because I get way too invested in the characters and get emotional…no one needs to see me like that. 
However, what I do need a boyfriend for is…

To pay for my meals  

To kill bugs for me 
  


To clip my jewelry together

   

To pay for my Netflix subscription

  


To remind me to pay my bills 

  


To drive my places

  

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I’m Done With: Holiday Couples 

Is it just me or are holiday couples worse than regular couples?

They drank the koolaid, and it’s really taking a toll on us single folks. We just need to make it to Valentine’s Day and all will be {more} normal.

For starters, does everyone get engaged for Christmas or Valentine’s Day? Is that part of the relationship agreement? As if everyone on my Facebook wasn’t engaged before, now they literally are all engaged. Thanks for ruining social media for me.

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Second, there is way more PDA than other times of the year. I guess the cold weather makes the public snuggling acceptable? Or maybe it’s the Christmas caroling that makes the public snogging cute now? Well none of this is okay. …and yes I said snog….like in Harry Potter.

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Next, how is it that all holiday couples are ten times more attractive? They are all glowing and basking in a golden light. It’s weird. They are all smiles, taking photographs together, and canoodling like a gorgeous J.Crew couple.

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Lastly, holiday couples make normally-acceptable-single activities now unbearable. For example, going to get carry-out is way worse during the holidays because you get a glance of every table in the restaurant taken….by couples. Ice skating is out (literally all couples). Walking in the park is out (engagement photo shoots). Shopping is also out (couples are making their gift registries).

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So a note to all you single people, keep your chin up and hang in there until February 15th. All magical annoying-ness will back to normal.

 

xOx

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National First Love Day

Today is one of the greatest celebrations of all time: National First Love Day.

I cannot even handle my emotions right now. I am very upset I only just learned this day was happening.

I’m so giddy to celebrate this celebration with my first love:

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FOOD.

Our relationship is quite diverse.

We have had our ups and downs. My first love has made me sick before, but we always make it through the tough times. Some of the time, my first love talks back to me. But that’s okay. I’ll always forgive you, my love.

My first love always puts a smile on my face, especially those cookie runs in the middle of the night. What a sweet (literally) memory.

Thank you for making me whole (and full) again. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for the great times. Thank you for letting me eat you.

xOx

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