Tag Archives: singledom

Dating in Postgrad

Ah, the dating scene is quite the place to be. A bunch of single, beautiful people casually milling around, laughing lightly and chatting about smart adult-like topics with a chilled drink in their hand.

Too bad I’m not at this scene.

Too bad this scene doesn’t exist.

Too bad this scene is just like the scene in “19 Kids and Counting” where Josh Duggar spills the beans on live TV and gets punched in the face…it will never happen.

The dating life after undergrad is pretty much close to non-existent. So word to the wise, find your mate before you graduate.

Here’s a couple things you’ll find to be true about the postgrad dating life:

1. Mathematically speaking, you’re screwed.

There are just fewer options out here in the real world. Marriage is happening at an early point in life, generationally.

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http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi0xZGUxMmI2OTE2NjBjNjJm

2. You don’t go places to meet potentials.

Where are you possible going to run into a potential date? The McDonald’s drive-thru? Or maybe the pizza delivery person? Just face it, you don’t go many places where singles are just hanging out. It’s a rough pill to swallow.

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3. You don’t go anywhere PERIOD.

Either you work a 40+hr a week job or you go to grad school. Either way, you don’t have a life anymore. You come home from work and crash on the couch, barely making to the kitchen to scrounge up some Easy Mac. Or you come home late from classes and being at the library all day and don’t even make it to the couch.

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http://www.bustaflash.com/working-memes-20-pics

4. You judge a lot quicker now.

No job? Not in school? Can’t even go and get a haircut? No thanks. I need someone who has more of their crap together than I do, if this is going to work.

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http://www.gurl.com/2013/07/30/imsinglebecause-twitter-hashtag-memes-being-single/

5. You’re poor.

I have no money to go out to places to meet someone. I have no money for a wedding! I have no money for a house! How can I possible date anyone with this bank account? I have to think long-term, here.

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/miserable-experiences-that-will-make-you-glad-summer-is-e?sub=2559401_1558659

Until next time, xOx

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Another One Bites the Dust

Once again another friend of mine has gotten engaged. That makes ten of my peers now who have officially committed their lives to their significant other. And yet here I am, completely and one-hundred percent single. Not even a possibility on the horizon. The horizon is as clear as my message inbox. It’s as empty as my bank account. It’s as bare as my refrigerator.

The world today is sending mixed messages, which makes this single-state hard to fully understand. Independence, work-first-centered life, overly social yet commitment-free life, and quick to boredom are the values of our generation and today’s youth. However, a lot of our friends are getting engaged at this point in life. So are we supposed to be the young and free type, or the settle-down early type?

I think I’ve been forced into the first grouping of people. Or is it a defense we take on to explain why we are still single? What is more frustrating is that my Christian friends are the ones who seem to be getting engaged young. They have been in relationships with their SOs for a while, too. And as much as I’ve prayed for some sign, I’ve come up empty. Which only means that the horizon is still in fact clear of any male-sailboats heading to the shore. It’s just not time for me. How is it then that my friends have been graced with such love?

I want to be an independent person with a good career to keep me going, lots of different friends, always on the move. But I also want that special person to come home to at the end of the day, or to call up when I need someone to lean on, or to watch Netflix and eat ice cream with. I’m tired of being the third wheel or the only person without a plus-one at weddings or special events. And as mad as I get, I can’t really blame anyone. I can’t blame myself because I can’t change who I am, I can’t blame a guy because he is not interested in me, I can’t blame the couples I know because they are lucky.

Then comes the questions: Is there something wrong with me? What am I missing that these girls with boyfriends have? Will a guy even want to date me since I’ve never been in a long-term relationship? Do I have commitment problems? You know all of these cross your mind, too, if you are single. I agonize over these questions more than my stomach agonizes over that time between lunch and dinner. I mean, something must be wrong with me, right? I need to accept my bad luck, assume the worst, and move on. Or need to pray for genuine patience and acceptance of life as it is. I need to take in my journey as a single person. I need to learn things on my own, before a significant other is brought into my life, maybe. I need to walk my own path before diverging it with another person.

I hope I can stay positive and keep this mind-frame for a while. Comment back if you’re in the same boat as me! Love to all you singles xox.

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Single and…..

Loving it? Ready to mingle? Depressed?

Whichever one of these ends that sentence for you, make sure it’s not the sadder version. Being in your twenties, many of my friends are getting engaged or even (*gasp*) have already gotten married. And here I am, lonely ‘ole me… and you. You remember that movie 27 Dresses? Well, I’m already at 2 and 1/2 (bridesmaid twice and invited to a third wedding). Although if I had 27 friends who would want me to be their bridesmaid, I’d be so proud that I may not ever worry about having my own wedding. You have to pay them all back and have 27 bridesmaids. What a pain that would be.

But seriously, I know you’re comparing yourself to all your friends who have a rock on their finger. I have sure have, but it’s not the road you want to go down. See I’ve thought about this long and hard. Here are my reasons:

1. You’re free to what you want when you want (you don’t need to fight with anyone on your plan for the weekend)

2. You can always eat what you want to eat for dinner (no compromises on TV dinners when you want Mexican food and he/she wants Chinese food)

3. You’ve been non-married/non-engaged for twenty-ish years, don’t panic because you have like 60 more years to be with a significant other. Stop being dramatic.

4.You have time to work on other relationships/friendships

5. Traveling with friends is just as fun as traveling with your significant other. So get out there and do something fun!

If you’ve just gotten out of a long relationship: “Don’t look back, you’re not going that direction anyway.”  I know it’s tough but you’re part of a great club of singles now, filled with potential and opportunities! You’re allowed to cry for a few days but don’t go crazy because that’s just a waste of life.

Don’t worry about your friends who are pairing up and leaving you as the awkward third wheel. They will be with the same person forever (or a long time) whereas you can explore and be experimental in dating. You can learn from your friends’ relationship mistakes so your future relationship will go smoothly. Be observant. Learn what you want in your significant other.

Also, if you push for a relationship, you will end up forcing something that is not meant to be. I know of people who are using certain apps and other ways of trying to meet people, but it’s in a desperate way. Please don’t do this or else you may end up regretting it. I’m a firm believer in things happening when they are supposed to happen. Do NOT lower your standards. This is one mistake that could be life-changing (and not in the good way). Stay strong and stubborn!

I do want my significant other for long romantic walks on the beach and picnics in the park, blah blah blah. But I know it’s not the time, so I’m waiting for the great guy to come along.

P.S. — Hey Prince Charming, get GPS and find your way to me a little quicker please.

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