Tag Archives: st. patty’s day

Stages of St. Patrick’s Day Shenanigans 

The good ‘ole day of the Irish! The day when 80% of the population claims to be from the Emerald Isle. The parties are crazy and the times are good.

Everyone knows they have partied a little too hard with their fellow leprechauns, sloshed a little too much green beer on themselves, kissed too many red-bearded men. I think a lot of you can relate to these turn of events:

1. You trash your room looking for something green to wear


Crushed it. Even her underwear is green, I bet.

2. You start counting down the hours to when you can hit the parties 


I bet you look that dang cute, too. But probably not.

3.  Everything is green, like everything. 


Green beer really lasts a long time in your system, fair warning.

4. The men are trying way too hard to be Irish for the “Kiss me, I’m Irish” stunt


I can see you under that scratchy, carrot-based beard, good sir.

5. You forget how many drinks you’ve had so far and start chanting that you’re Iwishhhh


You’re the happiest dang person around, completely oblivious to your surroundings and your lack of Irish heritage.

 

6. True Irish folk are sitting in their normal bar stool completely judging you 

 
Look at these poor fools, only having one day of the year to be as cool as us.

7. You’ve really gone overboard on the drinks and everyone starts looking creepily alike 


Is it just me, or does everyone in here have red hair and freckles right now?

8. When your friend is pinched for the thousandth time because she was not wearing green…


She pours green beer on her shirt and looks around yelling “I’M WEARING GREEN NOW, YA HAPPY?”

9. Then you realize tomorrow is a Friday, and you have to party all over again  


Crashing home at 4am is definitely acceptable because if you think about it, you’ll do it again in 24hrs. Consistency is key!

 
So Happy St. Patrick’s day, everyone! And you’re welcome for letting you act as cool as us, true Irish folk for a day.

 

xOx

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Cheers to the Lucky Charms

With it being St. Patrick’s Day, I felt it would be fun to give some facts about Ireland. Being Irish, it’s all about bleeding green, orange and white for my family. But there are some fun facts everyone else should know about the mug-clinking, green beer-chugging, slurred-chanting holiday on March 17th.

1.  St. Patrick was actually not born in Ireland.

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WHAT? That just ruins the whole premise, I know. But he did do a lot of BA stuff for the Irish, even though he was actually kidnapped from his home in Scotland and taken to Ireland. For example, he drove out all of the snakes. Literally, he would be a hailed hero by me for just that. Mr. Saint Patrick also used the shamrock to teach the people about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Thereby making this one of the most famous and publicize weed ever known to the planet. Dandelions on a T-Shirt? Nah. Give me a clover!

 2. Less than 10% of Irishman are redheads.

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Photo from: gallery.yopriceville.com

There’s another stereotype down the drain. Thanks a lot, The Google. I mean, are they just evolving and losing the redhead gene or was it always lies? Were the small handful of redheads in Ireland plastered across every Irish-related paper, movie, and reference? This is like waking up and realizing your whole life was full of lies. Do the Irish even eat corned beef and cabbage? Do they even have leprechauns? Did they even invent the Lucky Charm? Lies. If you find a redheaded Irish friend, hold them tight and don’t let go. They are a unique group and need our support!

 3. They eat potatoes with LITERALLY everything.

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Be honest, how many of you read the “literally” in all caps and said it with a Chris Traeger’s voice from Parks and Rec? Anyway, the Irish folk literally have potatoes with every single food item. And then they serve potatoes on the side of your dinner plate, which already has potatoes on it. Any and every type of potato you could think of. I had lasagna in Ireland (they’re very cultured with their food options, you know) last summer and it came with potatoes. I had Shepard’s Pie, which comes with mashed potatoes baked inside it, and yet it came with a side of fries, and then there was a side of boiled potatoes for the table to share. It is carb heaven, I’ll tell you that much.

 4. Ireland is actually two countries.

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The land mass we call the “Green Isle” is actually two nations. One is Ireland, or the Republic of Ireland, which is the southern and mid-part of the land. The upper part is Northern Ireland and is part of the United Kingdom. Northern Ireland also has English flags everywhere, and the Republic of Ireland is the nation with the green, white, and orange flag. So when you say “Kiss me, I’m Irish,” it doesn’t refer to the English-loving, pound sterling-using Loyalists. Cheers to freedom, ya bloody potato lovers!

 5. Ireland boasts about one pub per 100 people.

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That’s about a pub per family! Or one pub per undergraduate class! This one thing the Irish have perfected. Not only are there that many bars, there are that many crowded bars. I think every 100 person assigned to a bar goes every night. They swig down Jameson and Guinness, like it is water, and eat vinegar chips. Jameson, the good spirit of Ireland, however John Jameson is a Scottish family name. I see what you did there; taking a Scottish drink but making it so much better with that smooth Irish twist.

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So remember these fun facts and impress your friends tomorrow. And better yet, if you’re Irish now you sound legit!

You’re welcome.

** Sláinte = “Cheers”, toast to this tomorrow **

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xOx

[Photos taken by me in the beautiful homeland]

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