Tag Archives: Work Life

Types of: Coworkers

As we begin our life in the workforce, we realize that every job has the same people. Well, maybe not the same looking people but the same types of people. So, the real question is where do you fit in this group of misfits?

 

  1. The Cookie Monster

This person goes around to everyone’s office and takes whatever sweets, candies, or snacks they can find. You think they are coming into your office (or cubicle) to say hi, but really they just want a piece of candy that’s sitting on your desk. This person even goes into offices after people leave to grab some sweets. You garbage disposal, you.

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  1. The Pushover

This person goes above and beyond to make sure everyone is happy, from replenishing the coffee to make copies of stuff for you, to organizing and reorganizing the entire office every other day. You need to take like just one chill pill, man.

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  1. The Therapee

This person talks to everyone about everything because they obviously don’t get enough attention at home from their spouse or their cat. Either way, they treat everyone like a therapist, and it’s so stressful. I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH YOUR COOKING FAIL AT YOUR IN-LAWS LAST NIGHT, SARAH.

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  1. The Confucius

Unlike the actual Confucius, this person has literally no idea what’s going on in life. Sometimes they even make you wonder if they know they work here. They walk around asking everyone else what to do or how to work something. This may even be the upper-level employees. How do you still not know how the coffee dispenser works?!

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  1. The Juggler

This is the person that has just WAY too much to do. They are barely in the office and when they are, they don’t have time to talk to anyone unless you literally trip them in the hallway to talk for the few seconds it takes them to stand back up. Usually, it’s the bosses or the VPs because they have a million meetings to attend, but chances are that they have no idea what the meetings are about…even after they leave.

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  1. The Millennial

This person is constantly on their phone or social media accounts. Every time you walk by they are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest…or even blogging…  Anyway, no matter the age or if they are actually a millennial, this person can’t stop socializing online. Hopefully, they also have a job in social media marketing or something similar so that they can cover up their addiction and not get fired their second day.

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  1. The Mom

This person is the one who would bring in pastries on Mondays and remember people’s birthdays so there was a cake for them. It’s more than likely a female only because most men can barely remember their own birthdays, so let’s just be sexist for this one. Anyway, this is the person you want to be friends with right away because they’ll probably tell you first that there’s free food in the conference room.

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Comment below which is you!

Until next time,

xOx

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Expectation vs. RL: Work

Graduation comes and goes, everyone is happy, everything is confetti-filled and sparkly, hugs and gifts come pouring in from family, and loads of pictures are taken. Then, it’s on to the real rat race. We go into the job search pretty optimistically; I mean, we do have a bachelor’s degree that cost us thousands of dollars, right? So, it can’t be that hard. Every employer will want us, young, educated millennial beauts.

 

The Job Search

Expectation: Quick look online shows 100+ jobs perfectly matched with your skill set

Reality: Zero jobs open, nothing requires the skills you possess, and no one wants you as an intern anymore

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Job Descriptions

Expectation: All with a Bachelor’s degree in (your field of interest) welcome to apply!

Reality: Master’s degree plus 3 – 5 years of experience required for a janitor position

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Jobs Open to Apply

Expectation: “Great hours, all holidays off, pay is competitive, your time is valuable”

Reality: Below entry level, pay is worse than at McDonalds, and your boss is younger than you, so you are wasetfully over-qualified

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Interview

Expectation: Friendly employer, who casually converses with you, keeps you at ease the whole time, and asks if you meet specific qualifications

Reality: A couple of mid-level bosses with blank stares make a psychiatric evaluation of you: what are your weaknesses, where do you see yourself in 10 years, what could you bring to a team?

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Work Environment

Expectations: Fun and casual fellow millennial coworkers, who are all dressed in the latest Banana Republic styles

Reality: Your coworkers are all super aged, and they just complain about their high-school aged kids and insurance

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Week Nights

Expectations: Going out with your coworkers and trying out a different fun bar every Thursday

Reality: Drive home half asleep at 6:00pm and pop your dinner in the microwave

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Weekends

Expectations: Plenty of time for fun and adventures now that you don’t have schoolwork piled up like in undergrad (everyone remembers those cram-filled Sunday afternoons that involved studying and writing papers simultaneously)

Reality: Sleep….because it’s free, and you can’t afford to go on any adventures

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The Actual Work

Expectations: Fun, creative projects that will change the company and propel you upward to promotion after promotion

Reality: Lots of graphs, paperwork, and stapling

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Keep an eye out for the next installment of Expectation vs. Reality!

xOx

 

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