But I Don’t Want to

After undergrad, we have to either work or go to grad school.

There is no third option in our society of expectations.

Our world today requires great responsibility from the get-go.

However, most of us don’t have the luxury of getting job offers upon graduating. In fact, we would be lucky if we got a job offer within a few months. That is if we even have a clear, cut idea of what we want as a career path. I mean, seriously, how many of us know for sure? I know it seems like everyone else around us has an idea of a career path but how many of those actually work out?

I have changed my possible career path FIVE times since I graduated a year and three months ago. It’s very stressful, but staying on a path I’m not happy about is even more stressful. I haven’t given hope that this one will be the one. But I also haven’t let myself be married to this new career path either, especially given my track record.

I have realized that I don’t have a specific desire. I don’t have a career that I am completely sold on. I feel like I’m missing something that others have, something that seems to be needed for a job: passion. Does that mean something is wrong with me?

No. That’s what I have determined. Nothing is wrong with me. It’s not that I don’t have a passion; honestly, I have too many probably. But nothing I think of combines all of those passions. So until I find something, it’s still an adventure. The only thing I’m certain of is what my dad told me a long time ago: Make sure you find a job that you WANT to wake up for and go to every day.

That has always been my goal. And it always will be. No, I haven’t found that job yet. Yes, it’s scary. Don’t let your balloon of hope pop. I’ll let the waves carry me. Or let the loans and debt carry me. Either way, something strong enough needs to be carrying me until I find that dream job!

I just want to stay a kid, have some fun, and stay forever young. And hold a red balloon in a crowd of people.

[my photo, taken in Berlin 2014]