Expectation vs. RL: Dating in Postgrad

Everyone knows the postgrad life is not exactly what we imagined….or what we had mentally and emotionally prepared ourselves for; so, this segment of Expectation vs. Real Life will focus on the dating scene and what to actually expect. It is not at all like the Disney suggested. Although, those princesses were basically pre-teens, so I guess we should have already accepted that we missed our prince charming.

Friday Nights

Expected: Going out every week and flirting the night away with your large group of friends

Reality: Getting home from work and barely being able to make it to the couch to turn on Netflix

   VS.   

Dating Apps

Expectation: Mutually swiping right for a select few compatible mates

Reality: Aggressively swiping right for everyone because you are desperate and no one swipes back

  VS. 

Flirting

Expectation: Professional, confident, likable, and cute

Reality: Completely oblivious to everything because it’s been so long and you are totally behind the times

   VS.  

Compatibility

Expectation: Opposites attract, like-forces attract, you can make anything work

Reality: Anything and everything that is just a little bit different between you two is a GIANT pet-peeve

 VS.  

Meeting “The One”

Expectation: Some adorable, romantic, once-in-a-lifetime moment

Reality: Making a pact as children to be stuck marrying each other if you weren’t married by 30

  VS.  

First Dates

Expectation: Romantic, unique adventure that ends with staring up at the stars

Reality: Typical chain restaurant that ends with you two walking separately back to your car

  VS. 

Date Conversations

Expectation: Cute and sexy 20-questions

Reality: Complaining about loans, lack of money, a horrible job, and life as a twentysomething

   VS.  

Social Media

Expectation: Candid photos showing how in love you both are, whilst showing off how much fun you are having in life

Reality: Continuous and unappealing selfies that make you two look more like a mess than anything else

   VS.   

Have anymore expectation vs. real life dating scenarios? Comment below!

xOx

New Year, New Outlook

It’s time for New Years resolutions again. And in a month, it’s time for those resolutions to be forgotten again. As twentysomethings, our generation is more concerned with adventures, living life to the fullest, doing what we want when we want, being independent, not being afraid of new things, and having big dreams. We don’t need resolutions, we need something to look forward to.

So, here’s a proposition: no more resolutions; make dreams happen instead. 

Making resolutions are a thing of the past. You can make a resolution any time, and, honestly, summer is usually when people really kick it into high gear for the health resolutions anyway. You don’t plan for swimsuit season until it is swimsuit season. So instead, set new dreams for the year. A bucket list of sorts. Don’t worry about changing something about yourself, but rather, make additions to your life. We stay young until we are no more.

Here are some ideas for you, twentysomethings out there.

1. Plan some travel time  

2. Try something you always wanted to [sky diving, hot air balloon rides, trying out a new sport, trying a new talent/hobby, etc.]

3. Make new friends

4. Take a chance with your career

5. Rewrite your story 

6. Raise your standards [ with relationships, careers, expectations]

7. Find a cause to support [ human rights, environmentalism, disease awareness, etc.]

 

So, find some thing that will satisfy one – or many – of your dreams. This is the year for dreams to come true and for happiness to win. This is the year to do something exciting, do something memorable, do something to better you. 

 

Happy {almost} 2016

 

xOx

 

8 Things You Know You’ve Done

You know you’ve done each and every one of these things. Don’t lie to yourself. Or me.

1. Slowing down as you are passing a cop with radar hoping the radar only catches your speed when you literally right in front of the police car
   
2. Drinking cold water after burning your tongue or throat hoping it would un-burn you
   
3. Trying to delete a text while it’s still sending in hopes that stops it from going through
   
4. Eating an entire pizza by yourself and immediately start walking around to attempt to freeze the calories in time
   
5. Punching someone in the neck while going in for a hug because you couldn’t figure out whose arms were going on top
   
6. Paying your credit card frantically hoping that every minute you save you don’t get the full interest.
   
7. Tearing the grocery bag, giving yourself a hernia, and popping a blood vessel in your face while you struggle to make only one trip up the stairs after shopping
   
8. Watering your plant after it has already turned yellow-brown…it can come back from this, right?
   

Things to Stop Asking Twentysomethings

We get it. We should have more of our crap together at this point in our life. The constant questioning is not going to help us figure things out, though. So get out of the interrogation room and let us be….free. We know what you really mean when you ask us things; you’re not as sly as you think, sir.

Here’s what you ask us….and here’s what we hear….

1. So…any wedding bells ringing soon?

What we hear: Are you seriously still single? You’re going to die alone, you know that right?

2. Any exciting job offers?

What we hear: You’re going to be unemployed forever so better go pick out your box to live in.

3. How’s grad school?

What we hear: Have you failed out yet? You know that Cs don’t get degrees in grad school, right?

4. Are you living out on your own yet?

What we hear: How long will you mooch off your parents? Poor mom and dad would like to retire.

5. Time to start thinking long-term. Finances are a pain, am I right?

What we hear: You’re already behind on everything regarding stability in your life.

6. Remember the good old days of undergrad?!

What we hear: You are older than the dust under my fridge and now have no life.

7. What do you miss the most from college?

What we hear: You’re no longer in college….wait, what?

8. How’s the real life treating you so far?

What we hear: Have you failed yet? Because you are going to sooner or later…

xOx

But I Don’t Want to

After undergrad, we have to either work or go to grad school.

There is no third option in our society of expectations.

Our world today requires great responsibility from the get-go.

However, most of us don’t have the luxury of getting job offers upon graduating. In fact, we would be lucky if we got a job offer within a few months. That is if we even have a clear, cut idea of what we want as a career path. I mean, seriously, how many of us know for sure? I know it seems like everyone else around us has an idea of a career path but how many of those actually work out?

I have changed my possible career path FIVE times since I graduated a year and three months ago. It’s very stressful, but staying on a path I’m not happy about is even more stressful. I haven’t given hope that this one will be the one. But I also haven’t let myself be married to this new career path either, especially given my track record.

I have realized that I don’t have a specific desire. I don’t have a career that I am completely sold on. I feel like I’m missing something that others have, something that seems to be needed for a job: passion. Does that mean something is wrong with me?

No. That’s what I have determined. Nothing is wrong with me. It’s not that I don’t have a passion; honestly, I have too many probably. But nothing I think of combines all of those passions. So until I find something, it’s still an adventure. The only thing I’m certain of is what my dad told me a long time ago: Make sure you find a job that you WANT to wake up for and go to every day.

That has always been my goal. And it always will be. No, I haven’t found that job yet. Yes, it’s scary. Don’t let your balloon of hope pop. I’ll let the waves carry me. Or let the loans and debt carry me. Either way, something strong enough needs to be carrying me until I find that dream job!

I just want to stay a kid, have some fun, and stay forever young. And hold a red balloon in a crowd of people.

[my photo, taken in Berlin 2014]

7 Thoughts Starting a New Job

Now that you have graduated, starting a new job is a lot harder than you think. Some of us have to work jobs made for high schoolers, in fact some of your supervisors could be younger than you. Some of us have to work meaningless jobs at the lowest level possible. Some of us will get jobs that put us way in over our head. Others will have jobs that make us question our entire life so far. However, there are 7 thoughts that will go through your head when you start this new job after undergrad. Whatever the level of the work, intern or career, you will have these thoughts and probably some of these facial expressions, too.

First, it may not be the prettiest job in the world, but it will pay the bills…kind of.

—

Second, you will forget what it is like to have major responsibilities

—

Third, you will be so over the cliques already in place at your workplace. 

—

Fourth, you will realize you don’t care to make new friends.

—

Fifth, you will realize no amount of money is enough for you at this point.

—

Sixth, the drive to work will be really dreadful and no music can help. 

—

Seventh, you will be so jealous of the young, hopeful interns and realize how uncool you are now.

Iowa State Fair Shenanigans 2015

The Iowa State Fair: full of happy kids, smiling faces, fun fair rides, and of course, presidential hopefuls. Apparently this is a presidential must-do. It is the last bit of fun the politicians can have before they need to get down and dirty. Here are a few of the best photos from Getty Images’ coverage of the fair. Iowa is huge for candidates, since it is where the first caucuses occur. It is a big win for any candidate and this has been proven true in the past. This is a big state, with big wins, and big food.

So, if you are not too educated on the beautiful collection of people hoping to run our country, here is a casual sneak peek. Grab those turkey legs and funnel cakes, sit back, and be ready to laugh. And not in the good way, laugh in fear of our future.

Ben Carson is so giddy; he’s like a lactose intolerant kid sneaking that prized slice of pizza before his mom finds out. Good news is that Mr. Carson does not use a fork and knife for his pizza. Look at that poor guy behind Benny-boy, biting his fingers and drooling over just a corner of that slice of cheesy deliciousness.

 

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Bernie Sanders, here. He is totally ignoring the food and rides and deciding to just sweat it out. Maybe he is trying to fit in with the cool-kids and show off his no-fear toward working out. Maybe it is to prove that he can sweat out any filibuster on Congress’ floor or sweat out any debate. I sure hope that is water in the cup he is drinking from and not some of that Kool-Aid the kids drink these days.

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Donald Trump just does not even care about the fact that he is at a fair. Full suit and a baseball cap is his casual wear. Throwing up the peace sign for all his young fans out there, like he’s posing for his own Instagram photo. Peace to everyone, including women…except those who are “fat pigs”, no peace for you (Trump quote).

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Hillary Clinton is the mother of the candidates, who cannot believe she is about to break her diet for this pork chop. “Smile and act like you’re having fun, Hillary, but OH MY GOD this is 1000 calories” *awkward laugh*. Poor Mrs. Clinton, all she wants is some voters’ love and not get bigger hips. #femalecandidateprobz

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Jeb Bush chowing down so sternly just so the American people can see how serious his campaign is going to be. No jokes here. No silly business. Just me and this good ‘ole pork chop thing. “This is how I’ll eat, as your next president, America. Serious, dry, and lacking emotion. Just how you like your politics.”

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

And meet this gentleman, the next candidate running for president. Points for the casual-wear and variety in food-choice.

(photo from Getty Images)

And that’s all, folks.

xOx

OMG, Add Me on LinkedIn?!

Now that we are…how shall I say…older, we are evolving in our social media standards.

First, our generation was judging incisively on MySpace. Then, luckily, Facebook entered our lives and saved some – only some – of our humanity. Instagram crept into our lives, igniting our competitiveness for the ‘coolest’ filtered photo. Snapchat made us realize how annoying people were with their incessant need to send snaps of their food. Thanks for helping my diet, jerks.

Now, LinkedIn is the new and coolest thing for us twentysomething, young adults. It is definitely the one social media account we should be using (seriously). This is a great way to stay in touch with professional connections and find new ones. You can also look for job postings and search companies on this site, which is great for you poor (literally) unfortunate souls.

But there are a few thoughts that will cross your mind as you begin this phase in your life. A lot of self-judgment will occur, and in retrospect, you’re going to have some regrets of how little you actually did with your life up until now. Sorry, but best of luck!

1. Cool, I get to make a new profile

Oh wait…I have no real experience or past work. I look like a lazy brat now.

2. Oo, I can upload a profile picture

Which shall I use: the totally not-sober one from senior year shenanigans or the ratchet one of me dying from heat
stroke at a football game? Let’s face it, no one has real headshots already done…that requires money.

3. The skills section should be easy

Wait, what kind of skills are these? Excel, Leadership, and Management? What happened to eating, sleeping, and
being frugal? (You will begin to question even the most basic skills you think you have…like spelling)

 

4. Profile is complete

This is the most boring profile of myself. I look like an eighteen-year-old, who has to repeat senior year.

5. Finding connections

Oh I know her! Woah…she’s done that much with her life so far? Liar. Fraud. Still, she makes me look bad, so I will
not be requesting her.

 

6. Someone looked at my profile!

Wait a minute, you can see who looks at your profile? I’m suddenly regretting my stalking. Why didn’t someone tell me
first?!

 

7. What the heck are second connections?

Too much brain power is needed for this ‘social media’ site. My brain has the hurts.

8. Can this be like a dating site, too?

Finally found a nice professional-ish photo; not one of those ‘professional’ shots that include the perfected deer-in-
the-headlights look, old-lady hair style, and shoulder-padded suit. Time to scout out the cutest connections!

 

If you do not have a LinkedIn profile yet, take these points as warnings. Go out and do some stuff with your time and fill up that resume! If you already do have a LinkedIn profile, you understand what a mental struggle this point in life really is.

—

xOx