Tag Archives: coffee humor

Types of: Coffee Drinkers

Happy #NationalCoffeeDay!

There are many varieties of coffee, coffee-hings, and coffee drinkers. To celebrate this glorious, caffeinated day, I want to share the different types of coffee drinkers out there. Which are you?


1. The Aristocrat 

This person sips lattes that have fancy designs in the foam and some spices sprinkled dramatically one top. Coffee is only served in a white mug on top of a white plate and must be drank with one pinky finger extended. Stay away from me, peasants.


2. The Businessperson

This person has more to-go cups in their car than they do gas in the tank. I mean, who can really get through a work day without coffee? And they totally judge people at the office, who don’t have coffee on their desk.



3. The Brit

This person doesn’t drink coffee and makes sure to announce that at least once a day. I mean, it’s so bad for you. We know you don’t drink coffee, Karen, but cocaine is worse so I win.



4. The Neurotic One

This person has SO much coffee in their body at all times that they start to prove science wrong that people need water to survive. It’s basically just brown water with an extra kick, anyway, right? #sohealthy



5. The Gibbs

This person drinks black coffee only. No cream. No sugar. No cup. Just straight  black coffee. They regularly call out those who put other things in their coffee. I’m sorry if I don’t want to drink acidic mud.



6. The Sorority Girl

This person drinks only Starbucks coffee. Coffee is Starbucks and Starbucks is coffee. Naked, green mermaid for lyfe.




7. The College Student

This person can be combined with any of the above, but the difference is that this person did not ever drink coffee until their first college exam. That was the end of all innocence. I just want to go back…


Comment below which coffee drinker is you!

Until next time


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National Coffee Day

Ah, coffee: the only legalized ecstasy in the world.

It’s bitter. It’s sweet. It’s the only “good” in mornings. It has a hold on our souls.

Coffee is the #1 addiction in the world. So, of course, this special beverage gets its own day. Let’s celebrate all of the greatness surrounding coffee!

To the plain, black, bitter original. Thanks for keeping us focused for exams, papers, presentations, and life all together.coffee7

To the sophisticated, a tad sweet, iced coffees. Thank you for cooling us on those hot summer days, while simultaneously giving us a little buzz for the day. coffee1

To the lattes, cappuccinos, expressos, and macchiatos. Thank you for making us feel pretty while we drink you. Thank you for the artistic flare, the foamy froth, the acceptable moment for pinky-up sipping.


Thank you coffee for all the times we were mad at Starbucks for spelling our names wrong and making us think we have a speech impediment. The name is “Shayla”, but I guess it’s harder to sound out than I think.

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Thank you for the ability to show off our uniqueness through coffee mugs and traveling cups. Without these accessories, how else would we be able to express ourselves?


Thank you for the ability to flood our Instagram with these types of photos and annoy our followers. What could be a more perfect subject-matter than my feet and top of the coffee lid? Coffee, you are so photogenic.


And most importantly, thank you for initiating our intestinal processes for the day. We love having to rush to the bathroom moments after arriving to work. But it’s always worth it…anything for you, love.


We will be forever indebted to you, every single day of our decaffienated lives.


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