What NOT to Say to 20-Somethings

We get it. We should have more of our life put together. We know “at my age I was working full-time and raising a family already,” mom. And we know “at my age I had ten kids already and a house to take care of,” grandma. But guess what? It’s not the 1900s anymore, so society tells us we don’t need to be doing that right now!

Some things are just out of our control, though. I mean, we can’t help that there are too many people on this planet. We can’t help that since Social Security sucks so much, more old people are staying in the workforce. We can’t help that there are a million college degrees to chose from and no one helps us choose a practical one. We can’t help that money doesn’t grow on trees.

There are seven things that you just really shouldn’t tell (or ask) a 20-something, in general:

1.”You should find a company that offers good benefits to its employees.”

What’s wrong: First, finding ANY job would be a good start. And second, DUH, of course we need benefits; as much as the Airborne commercials claim, it won’t save you from much…like your failing vision or alcoholism.

 

2. “When do you think you’ll settle down?”

What’s wrong: First, “settling down” requires a place to settle down like a home, which we cannot afford. Second, why is THAT the first thing family asks us? If I knew, I’d have a ring on my finger, now wouldn’t I?

 

3. “You really shouldn’t drink so much.”

What’s wrong: For starters, we didn’t ask you. Also, if vino is BOGO, I’m buying-o.

 

4. “You should start a savings account.”

What’s wrong: One, no, I actually like to play this fun game where I use up all my money to the last penny each month. Two, to open an account you need money…and to get money you need a job…and to get a job you need experience…and to get experience you need a job…

 

5. “Just apply everywhere! Someone has to be hiring!”

What’s wrong: First, I, along with a million other recent grads are all applying simultaneously. Second, applying everywhere isn’t exactly effective because I can’t afford to live everywhere.

 

6. “Do you just sit around all day?”

What’s wrong: First, you’re assuming I sit – in fact, I lay down. Second, applying for jobs is a full-time position in itself: checking all the hiring websites each day, reading about the new position, writing a cover letter to match that position, uploading your resume only to find you STILL have to manually input all the info on the application, submitting the application, and then repeating.

 

7. “This is the time for you to find your passions.”

Although somewhat true, what’s wrong: First, you say that but you also expect us to start working ASAP. Second, you say that but you also tell us to realistically reign in our dreams and hopes.

If anything, just don’t offer us any advice because as millennials, we know everything already and are happily ignoring the truth. Thanks, bai.

xOx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being in Your 20s: Curse or Blessing?

Let’s face it, we have major ups and downs in our 20s. A lot of shit happens, both good and bad. Some of it is super ugly, lots of crying and anger. Some of it is great though, with screams and jumps and smiles wider than your face. It’s all part of the game, so we just have to learn how to live it.

Yeah, sure these things can happen to 30-year-olds, too, but we’re selfish as millennials, and it’s all about us, so we go through way more, obviously (insert sassy emoji).

So is this all actually a blessing or a curse?

Let’s take it as a curse, first. Yeah it sucks.

1. We have no money – Literally. We’re actually in the negatives, with college debt and all the online shopping we do, which leads us to yelling at ourselves for being so stupid, and then to feel better we eat a lot and shop online again.

2. Our degree is useless – Very few 20-somethings have a degree that actually gets them a job. So, you know what that means? Back to school! Or settling for the worst job you could think of…retail.

3. Moving is just an emotional nightmare – We have to move from our undergrad oasis, with many of us having to move back home. Or you have to move out of an apartment and have no prospects of where to live next, that’s always fun. But the worst circumstance is when your friends moves away (ugly crying).

4. The job hunt is the absolute worst – We spend at least a year looking for a job, and then, we find one that really sucks but we’re stuck in it. We see the 1 in 100,000 of us millennials find a cool job and sulk for days because we’re obviously not cool enough.

5. We second guess everything – Should I have graduated with that degree? Should I go to graduate school? Is there a job out there for me? Will I ever move out of my parents’ house…again? Will I ever get married? Does it matter if I ever get married? How many cats is too many? Delete social media…bring it back…delete again…bring it back…

BUT, some of the things that happen to us while we’re in our 20s are blessings (maybe in disguise but hopefully are super obvious because we don’t have to patience to figure that ish out).

1. We can still start over – It’s not too late. You can start over at any age, really, even when you’re an old geezer. It’s just easier now, especially if you have the time and the motivation and have nothing tying you down. Change your career path (I did!) or change your relationship or change your underwear…that would be a good start.

2. New people, new friends – If we have to move, or if our friends move away, then we have to take that as an opportunity to meet new people because you never know who might be your new best friend. And they might even help you find a job one day.

3. We can sharpen our skills – Now that we don’t have homework or exams anymore (given you’ve graduated), we have allllll this time to do things we like. And who knows? Maybe it will lead to a job. If you have time, don’t waste it because even if your hobbies aren’t going to rake in the dough for you, at least it’s a stress reliever for you and keeps you mentally busy.

4. We can travel – Since our friends moved away to follow their dreams, we can use that as a reason to travel and visit them! What’s better than traveling to see your best friends? Plus, it could convince your folks to help pitch in. Or just travel period: take a road trip by yourself, fly somewhere new and explore. Go before you start your job and you don’t get vacation time for like two years.

5. Focus on you – Although it may seem like most 20-somethings are married or having kids, many of us are still single. And it’s a perfect opportunity to be totally and completely selfish. Even if you’re in a relationship, try to have “You Days” anyway. It’s important to focus on ourselves because we have a long time left in these bodies and with these minds. If it’s physical, spiritual, or emotional, go out and do something for you. Work on that hot bod since you don’t have the distraction of eating all the time with your SO. It sounds uber cheesy, but go find yourself because you’re mid-30s and 40s and 50s will be much better if you do.

It all depends on how you look at it, but it’s totally fine to be down about being in your 20s. This time in our lives is important, big things happen and some might be pretty ugly. But other things will be total miracles. Chalk up the bad as lessons learned and something checked off the list, and stay sarcastic…I mean hopeful…and everything will be just fine.

Promise.

 

 

Until next time,

xOx

 

 

 

10 Things to Question about Your Life after Undergrad

Questionable phases of life after gradation. We all go through them and we all survive them….well most of us do. Here are 10 things to question:

1. Receiving a job offer

Because of all the talk about the difficulty of getting a job, if you do receive an offer, it becomes very suspicious. Wait, I only applied to 20 jobs and actually got one? Whereas, you hear horror stories of people applying to 40 jobs and getting one interview and no job. It is a paid position, right? Not an internship? Always be on high alert when something happens too easily in the working-world. Unless you got hired at McDonald’s, then just nod and accept it.

2.  Old friends

Some of your old friends act like they have too much of their shiznit together. Those are the ones you need to watch out for. No one has that much of their life pieced together yet. And with the politics starting to erupt already for 2016, some of your friends’ true colors are coming out over Facebook…question their reasoning. Block.

3.  Your relationship status

If you feel like Christ Traeger, you are probably questioning yourself, too. Leaving undergrad means leaving all of your friends, and who knows when you will all be together in one spot again?

4. All the work you did in undergrad

All that stuff you had to memorize for exams was beyond pointless. It was actually wasteful. Wasted the space in your brain, wasted your time, wasted thousands of note cards. Question why you tried so hard do to do well in those useless courses. And then be ready to get mad.

5. Your ability to keep it all together

If you can fake it enough to act like you have it all together, you deserve an award. If you think you have your life all put together nicely, you need to question yourself. Don’t lie to us, you rub your face into a pillow every night before bed like our trusty, relate-able buddy, Nick Miller.

6. Your career choice

Think you know what you want to do after you graduate? Guess again. Chances are you will question yourself with every job application or every grad school assignment. If all else fails, become a wizard; it’s as close as you will be to a real job after you graduate anyway.

7.  Your ability to stay professional at all times

Think you will act like a mature adult now that you have a diploma? Chances are you will become very sarcastic very quickly. Professionalism is boring anyway, so question those who act like it all the time. Plus, you’re still a child in the eyes of many.

8. Your so-called undergrad accomplishments

Think being secretary in an undergrad club will get you far in the job market? Think that one intramural team you were on will help? It won’t. And the lack of actual “accomplishments” on your resume will only make you feel worse. I hate that part of a resume anyway. Can watching Netflix be on there?

9. Your interview capabilities

Maybe give yourself a practice round or two before that job interview. And if you don’t, question why you aren’t. No one is actually prepared for an interview. That’s the joke of the year. It’s also something they didn’t teach you in undergrad, so question your college/university on that one.

10.  Your ability to flirt

If you think you’re still in ‘the game’, you’re probably wrong. Question why it hasn’t worked out for you so far.

xOx