8 Things You Know You’ve Done

You know you’ve done each and every one of these things. Don’t lie to yourself. Or me.

1. Slowing down as you are passing a cop with radar hoping the radar only catches your speed when you literally right in front of the police car
   
2. Drinking cold water after burning your tongue or throat hoping it would un-burn you
   
3. Trying to delete a text while it’s still sending in hopes that stops it from going through
   
4. Eating an entire pizza by yourself and immediately start walking around to attempt to freeze the calories in time
   
5. Punching someone in the neck while going in for a hug because you couldn’t figure out whose arms were going on top
   
6. Paying your credit card frantically hoping that every minute you save you don’t get the full interest.
   
7. Tearing the grocery bag, giving yourself a hernia, and popping a blood vessel in your face while you struggle to make only one trip up the stairs after shopping
   
8. Watering your plant after it has already turned yellow-brown…it can come back from this, right?