You know you’ve done each and every one of these things. Don’t lie to yourself. Or me.
- Slowing down as you are passing a cop with radar hoping the radar only catches your speed when you literally right in front of the police car
- Drinking cold water after burning your tongue or throat hoping it would un-burn you
- Trying to delete a text while it’s still sending in hopes that stops it from going through
- Eating an entire pizza by yourself and immediately start walking around to attempt to freeze the calories in time
- Punching someone in the neck while going in for a hug because you couldn’t figure out whose arms were going on top
- Paying your credit card frantically hoping that every minute you save you don’t get the full interest.
- Tearing the grocery bag, giving yourself a hernia, and popping a blood vessel in your face while you struggle to make only one trip up the stairs after shopping
- Watering your plant after it has already turned yellow-brown…it can come back from this, right?