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Super Bowl 50 – Commercial Highlights

We all know the Super Bowl is full of friends, competition, food and drunkenness, BUT the most important part is definitely the commercials. 

Just go on Facebook and see how many of your friends wrote this exact status: “I just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials”

Okay. Thanks for sharing, friend. 

Anyway, if you missed the Super Bowl becuase you live under a rock somewhere far, far away or you are just too stubborn to admit you actually want to watch it, here are the commercial highlights you need to know about. 
1- Mountain Dew’s new energy drink 

The Puppy-Monkey-Baby was beyond terrifying. The legs of a baby, the body of a monkey, and the face of a pug. I will not sleep soundly tonight. However, I would like to know which manager was drunk or high enough to let that advertisemt slide. Also, not noted in the commercial, that thing is the main character of the next horror film coming to theaters soon. 

  

2- Super Bowl Babies

Having the children conceived from a Super Bowl victory is an odd image to showcase. Those kids are going to grow up hating their parents both for making them be in that commercial and for being conceived over a football game. And, it really makes me look at my friends with November birthdays differently…  Casual conversation,  so what is your parents’ favorite football team? 

  


3- MATT DAMON 

Jason Bourne is back. And Mr. Damon is looking sexier than ever. That salt and pepper ‘do is working for him and every woman in the world. Right when you thought he was out of commission, Bourne is back to kick butt and hopefully take off his shirt a couple of times. 

  

4- OIC is a serious concern 

Opioid-Induced Constaptation. Now we know why that druggy coworker is always cranky, he can’t poop! It’s also a great way for parents to know what’s going on with their children: Have you gone to the bathroom lately? No….. I knew you were using drugs! Symptoms include every general symptom for the common cold, the flu, indigestion, a pulled muscles, and a sprained finger. But you may also not have any symptoms! So it’s basically still unknown. 

  

5- Doritos in general 

Doritos left us wondering if we were impressed or severely grossed out. From the baby flinging himself out of his mother’s womb and the three dogs dressing up as a human to buy chips at the store, we can only question the age of those creating these ads. (18 year old males, right?)

   

 

6- Heinz 

All those wiener dogs dressed as hot dogs. Enough said. 

  

7- Hyundai and Ryan Reynolds

Talk about unrealistic, who could actually keep driving without crashing her car after seeing not one, but a dozen, Ryan Reynolds?! Obviously fake. [Note: fakeness has nothing to do with the fact that there were multiple Ryans]

  

[I’ll add good ones as they play]


xOX

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Why I actually need a boyfriend 

It is almost Valentine’s Day everyone, and we all know what that means: a day of constant reminders that we are in fact still single. Looking at all of the cute couples posting photos of their nice dinners out, flowers, champagne glasses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, etc., I actually only think of the practical reasons I would need a significant other. 

I mean I can buy myself a whole bottle of champagne. My mom gets me chocolates. And my dad can send me flowers….if I ask him….and then remind him again….and then again. But still, I don’t need a man for all of that. 

I don’t need a guy for anything romantic. 

Not to tell me I’m beautiful because I am…on the inside. 

Not to hold my hand because I tend to not see cracks in the sidewalk and don’t need to take both of us down. 

Not to buy me chocolates because those are always on my weekly grocery list. 

Not to watch movies with because I get way too invested in the characters and get emotional…no one needs to see me like that. 
However, what I do need a boyfriend for is…

To pay for my meals  

To kill bugs for me 
  


To clip my jewelry together

   

To pay for my Netflix subscription

  


To remind me to pay my bills 

  


To drive my places

  

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How to Make Decisions as an Adult

Being an adult is hard. It is just too much work, too much thinking, too many consequences. One wrong decision and BAM, everything falls apart. One wrong move and WHACK, consequences for days. Take too long to make a decision and ****! (<– I didn’t even give you the first letter, there are many options here for you)

There are many things to decide on: where to live, what career to have, what jobs to take, maybe intern first, or maybe follow your dreams first? Then, there is always the classic healthcare, taxes, income, and cat food concerns.

It is not undergrad life anymore: no easy decision on what club to go to tonight, or what hour before the exam you should start studying, or what coffee at Starbucks to walk around with…I mean drink.

But, fear no more! Here is how you will make decisions on an adult-level. There’s no time for goofing off. There’s no time for baby steps. There’s no time for time.

1. Your brain will promptly notify you of decision-overload

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2. Whatever decision comes to mind first is going to be the one you choose to worry about most

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3. You will realize every other decision you choose to ignore will be GREATLY affected by the one you are focusing on

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4. Your brain will react to the stress by telling you that you want to watch Netflix now

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5. (days later) Your brain will suddenly remind you of your decision stress at 4:12am and force you awake

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6. You will drink and eat a lot in the days of your decision

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7. You will go days thinking everything is fine and it will all work itself out

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8. You will be forced to make a decision because you verbalized it to one person and now have to stick with it

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And there you go. See? Isn’t that helpful to know?

 

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#OscarForLeo

Today is the day!

We all know it is time for the beautiful gowns on abnormally gorgeous women, and men in tuxes that actually fit their bodies absolutely perfectly, unlike those awful tuxes you were exposed to at your high school prom.
Gems and diamonds just dripping off of everyone and designer names being thrown around as often as the word “fries” is screamed at McDonald’s.

But this year, the Oscars is going to be a different kind of special.

For this is the year that all of his hard work is going to be awarded.

This is the year that everyone in the world can stand on their feet and salute the winner of Best Actor.

This is Leo’s year. Why should he win Best Actor?

1. Obviously, his role as Mr. Hugh Glass in The Revenant  and surviving a bear attak

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2. He was robbed in 2013 by Matthew McConaughey

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3. As he was robbed of the award in 2004 and 2006 (we won’t mention those names)

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4. He is as worthy as previous winners such as Colin Firth, Denzel Washington, Daniel Day-Lewis, Russell Crowe, Kevin Spacey, and many other great actors.

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5. He has crushed every role he has undertaken (Wolf of Wall Street, Great Gatsby, Inception, Shutter Island, Blood Diamond…the list goes on, unlike the list of his Oscar wins….)

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6. He is so good that he even has made you hate his guts at times (cough, cough…Django)

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7. He was never properly awarded for not trying to get on that wooden plank and basically killing himself in Titanic

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8. Lastly, he is single so please let Oscar comfort him late at night at least, Academy!

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I’d like to take credit now for making #OscarforLeo a trending hashtag, so you’re welcome.

 

xOx

 

 

 

 

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Last Day of Summer, Last Day Things are Allowed

Well, today is the day, folks. The day that glorious, carefree months end.

It’s the last day of summer (technically).

You know what that means?

  1. It’s the last day that cool drinks at Starbucks are acceptable
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  2. It’s the last day you can pretend you are not really back at school (or work)
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  3. It’s the last day it is warm because apparently nature knows tomorrow is the first day of fall
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  4. It’s the last day for pools to be open (in the north)
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  5. It’s the last day before boots are on every girl’s feet
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    6. It’s the last day before the holiday decorations explode everywhere
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    http://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M2e0b64067ff40c5eec68592b821b8355H0&pid=15.1

xOx

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6 Thoughts During the GOP Debate

As I sit here watching the GOP debate on CNN, I’ve had a few thoughts pop into my mind.

One, is this really what debates have come down to? Terrible jokes about California’s drought and people’s faces? I watch SNL for the good versions of those jokes.

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Second, please STOP telling us everything you’ve “done for your state”. I DON’T CARE.

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Third, I’m so distracted by the plane in the background. I want it in my living room.

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Fourth, interrupting is one of my biggest pet-peeves, like, EVER.

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Fifth, I wonder where Jake Tapper got his tan from? Looks expensive.

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Sixth, I’m no mind-reader, but I’m 99% sure that 100% of these candidates are lying about something…

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xOx

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9 Instagrams You NEED to Follow

While perusing my Instagram feed on my photography account (zachrielle_photo), I have come across some really extraordinary work. Some photographers out there are REAL GEMS.

Other photos I scroll through are okay (if even that, sometimes), but they get hundreds or thousands of likes. I refuse to click that little heart button out of pure stubbornness. At the same time as seeing these photos, I see some real gorgeous work that has less hearts clicked. It boggles my mind how this happens. Are the “okay-photo” accounts paying for their likers? I call those cheaters.

Therefore, I’ve decided to showcase some of the accounts that I believe should have more love. Go love them.

(These aren’t in any specific order)

Ready to be amazed?….

  1. Fieldgurl

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I mean is this from Jurassic Park? Or maybe it’s a scene from an urban-Hogwarts train ride? It can’t be real, right? IT IS.

2. PeaceInArtPhoto

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I feel so at peace when I look at this. Can’t you just feel that mist flowing over you? I CAN.

3. SethVDL

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This is fake. JUST KIDDING! I can’t look away from this one. It’s perfection.

4. ekl222

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This reminds me of some sweet romantic story. The purple hue makes me feel thankful for some reason.

5. bakersamantha

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Artsy? Check. Colorful? Check. Geometric? Check. Urban? Double check.

6. ancient_sky

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So I first saw this and thought, “Not real” but is in fact VERY REAL! It’s actually a national monument, fancy, huh?

7. gsolvang

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Yes I know. Speechless over this beaut. Those colors are on point. Everything about is on point, actually.

8. jrice.photography

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First, how does one even think of such a great position for a photo?! But she nailed it. And the lighting, magnificent.

9. alpine_amy

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Definitely thought this was from a post card until you notice her entire Instagram feed has photo like these. YAS.

So you’re welcome for making you wanderlust. And you are all very welcome for showing you how to make your Instagram feed much more beautiful and colorful.

xOx

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10 Things They Didn’t Tell You about Yoga

So we have all seen friends post photos on Instagram of them doing headstands on the beach or in the Grand Canyon. This has then caused you to pursue the art of yoga. You want to see what the craze is all about. I mean, how hard can it be, right? Just holding poses and listening to your breathing. Well what they did not tell you was: THIS IS HARD. Here’s a list of things you will find to be true with your first yoga class.

  1. The Fellow Yoga-ers

When you pull up to the yoga studio, you get a quick glance of the other people going inside while you mentally prepare yourself. This is when you first start to reevaluate your idea of starting yoga. The people strut in, chins held high, tight yoga pants and tank tops revealing their overly toned bodies, and their professionally rolled yoga mat under their arm. Then you get out of the car in tight-ish yoga pants, a t-shirt and no mat. Thank God you remembered water, right?

  1. The Price

When you enter the studio, you walk up to the counter where a very kind person welcomes your warmly. You have to pay for a single class. Then they ask you about a yoga mat, which you need to rent. Then they ask about renting a towel. You pause to answer but slyly look around at everyone else and decide to rent one of those, too. GOOD DECISION, especially if you are taking a hot yoga class. This all adds up and about $20 later you are ready for the class to start.

  1. The Clothing

You go to put your extra belongings in a cubby before entering the yoga room. While you do this, you slowly, inconspicuously size up the rest of the people going into the room. The attire is in a whole fashion category of its own. And you are way out of style. The brighter and more eccentric the pattern is on the yoga pants, the better you are. The tighter the tank top, the more professional you are. Just a sports bra? You’re a yoga-goddess.

  1. The Class

So you have now checked everyone out and realized what you are up against. As you walk into the yoga room, you get blasted with a wave of heat hotter than the dessert (for hot yoga people only). People have rolled their mats out in a perfect pattern on the floor as close to the front as possible, so you strategically place yours toward the back.

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  1. The Stretching

It makes sense to stretch before starting an athletic event, so you figure you will casually stretch before yoga. You look around and see people in strange yet intense poses, and then you see some just laying on their backs, eyes closed. How the heck is that stretching? What you don’t know is that the pose actually brings you centered and focused on your muscles. So you decide to just lay down and hope for the best.

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  1. The Lingo

Now is the big moment: the instructor has begun class, set the calming music, and starts describing poses in a peaceful tone. You hear words and see movement but you have no idea what is happening. You try to copy the people around you but a lot of the poses require your head down, so instead you end up doing a strange looking version of everything with a kink in your neck. You hear strange things like: “uttanasana” and “urdha mukha svanasana” and “pigeon pose” or “upward facing dog”. Don’t panic, just keep moving and breathing, you will make it.

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  1. The Work

You start to rethink your original thought that this was just a stretching sport. You also start to rethink your athleticism. You are beginning to feel really weak and pathetic. The strength and core it takes to hold a pose is definitely more extreme than just running on a treadmill. You feel muscles that you did not know you had. Or you feel muscles being used more strenuously than you have used them before. You contort your limbs into odd shapes and feel stretches that you have never felt before. It’s magical, really. And just a little painful.

  1. The Fellow Yoga-ers (again)

As you get a grip on your physicality, you feel venturous enough to take a quick sweep of the room. You thought yoga was a girl thing but you start to notice how many men are in that class. Cheers to you, fellows! So much for not having to worry how you look. Some even practice yoga without a shirt, sweat glistening off their muscular bodies. Now you have to worry about falling over from the distractions. Great. You also notice middle aged people in the class, who are doing way better than you are at your ripe age of early twenties. How embarrassing.

  1. The Last Pose

This pose is literally translated to “corpse pose” and you lie on your back, feet out, palms facing up and eyes closed. Now you understand those who were laying like this at the beginning of class. This is your final resting pose to help clear your mind and get you prepared to face to world again. It’s only now that you realize how much stress was relieved in this 60-75min class. You start to feel very at ease and loose, like a limp noodle. More like a limp noodles that’s high. You feel strangely calm, and your body is still in one piece. This is fantastic.

  1. The Car Ride Home

You walk out to your car slowly and dazed, as if you just witnessed something beautiful. You feel a strange peacefulness inside of you, one that even makes you unable to crack jokes about how you feel like a high hippie. You feel nothing. Or everything. But it is okay. You keep your radio off and speak in only whispers for a good while after.

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And then you go back to yoga over and over… and over. This strength-centered, calming, total body practice has got its grips around you. Now it all makes sense.

If you have not tried yoga yet, read this and prepare yourself. It will make the transition easier. These are real experiences I have had, learn from me, take my knowledge, and most of all…STRETCH.

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Things We Should All do in our Twenties

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Before you worry about not finding “The One” or settling down or acting like a ‘real adult’, there are a few things you should really do for yourself.

 

  1. Travel

Plan a trip or go spur of the moment! Visit a friend, take a friend, or make new friends on an adventure. Although this is a time in life that you may not have a lot of money, it is the best time to travel. No kids to drag along with you and no work schedule for you and your significant other to work around. Plus, that is what the Internet is for! So many blogs and travel sites have ideas for cheap ways to travel. You need to travel to appreciate things and culture, to appreciate what you have, and to live out your dreams.

  1. Live on Your Own

Whether you have roommates or moved back home after undergrad, you need to leave all of that behind and live on your own for at least the length of one lease. Experience time on your own, so you can prove to yourself and others that you can survive on your own if needed. Teach yourself to not be afraid of the dark! Or just keep every single light on. That’s okay, too.

  1. Find a Career Interest

This is the time of internships, volunteering, temporary jobs, and part-time work. It is time to test different career interests out. Internships are the best (paid ones are a gold mine) because you can test a career option out for a specific amount of time: if you hate it, the day it’s over just toss your ID badge to the wind and find another internship, but if you love it, grab those contacts and work on a way to a full-time position!

  1. Be Happy In Your Own Skin

Be comfortable with who you are. Don’t worry about what you wear, what your make-up looks like, what brand your accessories are. It is not as much a fashion war out here like it was in high school or even undergrad. Don’t worry about judgments and just feel comfortable being 100% YOU. Go out and buy that superhero shirt you always wanted to rock, or that Minion tank that’s irresistible, or that crazy outfit you used to think would make you unpopular.

  1. Maintain Solid Friendships

Up until now in your life, you probably have a few friendships that have outlasted any significant other you have dated. Don’t let those relationships dwindle because you’re too busy trying to “find a man” or a girl. Many people lose friends while they are trying to get the attention of a possible partner. Our twenties is the time to find people to laugh, cry, cheer, and explore with. These friendships keep us grounded throughout our lives, through thick and thin. It is important to have friends in life. Even when you eventually settle down, you will still need friends.

  1. Be Grounded in Your Faith (whatever it may be)

It does not matter what you believe in (God, gods, Jesus, no Jesus, Mother Nature, Fate, etc.). As long as you have grounded morals and have something to keep you accountable to, you will be set in life. Give thanks, forgive, be patient, be optimistic, and help others. You need faith to keep you going in the hard times, so you need to start grounding yourself now before the real tough stuff comes.

xOx

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Be Single this Summer

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~ design and photo created by me ~

People think a summer fling would be the perfect story. However, staying single for the summer is better for you than having any significant other. Instead of spending half of the summer finding someone who is good enough and only being able to spend 6 weeks with them before going back to school/home/work, you should stay single and enjoy the good life. Here are 5 reasons why you should try to stay single during the fine months of May-August.

And remember to stay sassy throughout it all!

1. Freedom 

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This is not meant in a sarcastic or discouraging way. I mean freedom to decide for yourself what YOU want to do, when YOU want to do it. Relationships are compromises and giving things up at times for your significant other. And I’m not saying this is not great for people, but what I am saying is that this is the time for you to be selfish. Like the great Koyoko quote states. Be selfish and learn to love yourself.

  1. Making new friends

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Now, you can meet new people at some social gathering. And you’re ALLOWED to do it! You are single, so no one is restricting you from interacting with the opposite sex. You can mingle, flirt, have fun and meet new people. It is a great thing, really. You do not have to feel guilty by any means. Plus, the summer has way more social events and the atmosphere is so free. It is a great time to be single.

  1. Traveling

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Travel to visit friends without having to accommodate anyone else. Now is the time to travel without any strings attached. Go for days or weeks or a month. You do not have anyone calling you back! Cross things off of YOUR bucket list. You will not need to travel to a random city in the middle of nowhere to meet more family member of your SO’s. Travel to the coast of your interest!

  1. Work on bettering YOU

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Summer time is the personal-renovation months. There is plenty of time to re-adjust your eating habits, start exercising and taking care of yourself, start a new hobby, finish a project, or whatever it is you need to do to find out who you are. You need time to focus on yourself and learn what you really love.

 

  1. Showing yourself you can be independent

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Many times people go from relationship to relationship, but the summer is a great time to step back and force yourself to be on your own. You learn who you are and what you are capable of. Living on your own and living with just yourself is a great lesson in life. Take the time to be selfish and do whatever you feel like!

And just walk by couples and give this face to them: it’s so refreshing!

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